studio-trespassers – Phantom of the Backlots

Today, for Valentine’s Day Week, I wish to share a story. It is from this timeless classic from my first book, Hole in the Fence.

Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!

First Dance goes to Dad, Ms. Maureen Miller and her father doing the” Hootenanny Hoot“

“My Turn”..10 cents a Dance–thereafter.

How Romantic is this…

I have a wonderful surprise planned for Maureen. Valentine’s Day is coming up…

Under a silvery moon…

I just happened to see the film Romeo and Juliet the other night. It was on a late-night airing. It was right after Rona Barrett signed off on her nightly entertainment updates. I often stay up later than I should if an MGM movie is advertised. When George Cukor is the Director, the film probably has scenes on the MGM backlots. Sure enough, this 1936 classic delivers the goods on the Spanish street.

I instantly recognize sets that I am “in” frequently!

I had no idea they were critical to this film. A balcony, used by Leslie Howard to serenade Ms. Norma Shearer. This section of the lot is a stone’s throw to Maureen’s apartment. I found myself seduced more by the backlot than the story. Still, I managed to follow the simple plot written by this Shakespeare guy!

Valentine’s eve…

I’m going all out tonight. Juliet will never forget this Valentine’s eve. I have two miniature boxes of Whitman’s Samplers so we can compare treats. I also got some candy hearts, the ones with those romantic nomenclatures on them. And a couple of Fortune cookies that were in a bowl on mom’s sink. Finally, outta the fridge is a box of leftover Piece O’Pizza slices, this night is really coming together!

Gotta haves;

Flowers…so, I pick a few multi colored roses from my mom’s garden.

Music… I’m making a cassette of special music from my parent’s album collection.

Mood lighting…a candle will do the trick.

Smooth dialogue… I have been practicing fancy Italian phrases all day.

Wardrobe… I want to look Italian. I’ll need a long sleeve shirt that exposes the chest just like Romeo. Like I’m ready to sword fight at any given moment. A red scarf? Too much? I think not.

I take my final look in the mirror and something is missing, some effect or personal touch…shoe polish! Perfect, we have tons of it. My dad wears polished black shoes to work. I wear it on my face when I play football and army battles on the backlot. But never like the way I have it on now. I now have a mustache with the curly ends no less. I look like a cross between Romeo, a Gondolier and a pizza guy. I think I’m ready.

I slip a rose in a vase for my mom before I leave home. I also add a box of chocolates and a note. Mom, this is for you. With much appreciation for all you do. I’m coming home late tonight most likely, but don’t worry, I’ll be safe. I beat her to the sincere motherly phrase she says every time I leave the house.

It’s decided that Maureen will sneak out of her room. She will meet me right out front here at 2300 hours. Or as kids say… 11 pm!

We start at her balcony, just across from Verona, Italy

From her stairway balcony- these buildings are a stones throw away. The sets from Romeo and Juliet.

The iconic sets from Romeo and Juliet are right behind this red Opal. That’s her sister Barbara’s car, we were too young to drive. All we had to do is cross the street and climb that fence…

Maureen’s brother has a garage band, The Millers are like-The Partridge Family. Her mom is a sheriff, and target full of strategically placed bullet holes greet those lucky enough to get inside. “Enid” reminds me of Angie Dickinson. That how this family rolls…

Romance awaits-I hope

Dong-Dong-Dong;

My princess appears, and whoa! I don’t recognize her at first as she walks out her glass front apartment building doorway. Her hair is in curlers. There are traces of cold cream on her face. I think she tried to wipe it off before our date. Hmm, I think to myself. So, this is how she looks so good in school. She multi-tasks! I realize now how complex it must be to be a young lady. It’s time consuming too! Oh well, that’s probably why they get this day called Valentine’s Day!

I scan downward from the curlers atop her head. I notice the cream on her face and the hideous plaid flannel PJ’s. Most importantly, I see her shoes. Good, she has running shoes, not slippers. She gets that part, our dates involving MGM require good shoes!

We are like animals in the zoo, examining each other. She has perfect circles surrounding each eye, like she had on cucumber sunglasses before I picked her up. We scan each other’s person, each thinking silently a million thoughts. She scans upwards as I scan downwards. Finally, there is mention of my manly mustache and exposed chest. “You look quite dashing Don Juan” she says as she flirts me a smile, “but you better button up. It’s chilly.” Thank goodness, I think, I was getting goosebumps in my effort to impress.

Maureen uses a note technique she has perfected just in case her mom realizes she’s missing. She couldn’t be any closer yet not be home. It’s like she’s sleep walking. We will use that as our excuse in this get-up.

I’ll tell security “She has this sleep disorder problem. I’m just trying to get her out of here.” She would make for a great mug shot in this get up. But then, so would I!

It’s the first time ever on the backlot a pajama’d trespasser is on the loose. She’s like having a female actress just finished with make-up. She waits her turn with wardrobe and costumes. Finally, she is needed on the set. The set tonight features the actual balconies. These were used by all the actors in the 1936 version of Romeo and Juliet. I wonder what Romeo would have done if Juliet appeared on the balcony this way…

He may have turned around and climbed up another balcony…

Puffy clouds cross in front of the moon’s big bright face as we arrive in Verona Square. It’s a place of romance both past and present.

A land of steeples, stairways and balconies…

I stop Maureen at the base of some mortar stairs, they are centrally located in this square. I ask her to sit on this ramp I’m preparing by wiping off all the eucalyptus acorns and fallen leaves. Like a waiter preparing a table for two. I hand her a rose that was quenched sideways in my mouth and stick it in her P.J top pocket. Next, it’s all on me. I go up the wooden stairway inside. I open the balcony doors above her. In my best Capella, I start to chant romantic forget me-nots. It is in Italian no less.

I don’t speak Italian normally but tonight- I am doing my best.

“Sei sempre nel miocuore” I start, having rehearsed this line throughout the day. Fortunately, I took drama at St. Augustine’s and have been in several plays, so I’m a bit of a Ham! After a prolonged silence from Maureen, I decide to follow up with the translation. I hope to ignite a spark in my actress. You will always be in my heart! – there it is in boring old English.

Good that worked. I hear the thump of her feet running up the stairs. She pushes open the rickety glass doors to join me on this balcony under the star studded moonlight. She kisses me pretty damn hard. Curlers and all, ah heck, she’s hot anyway. I press play on the cassette player. Dean Martin captures the mood this Valentine’s night…

We hear that “click.” It tells us it’s time to flip the cassette over. I notice she now has a shoe polish mustache too. And a couple of her curlers have gone rogue. That’s Amore!

I’m not sure when the last serenade played out here. I doubt it was as the clock struck midnight February 14. Luckily, security has been elsewhere. I feel mood lighting is safe since this is secluded. I light a candle that illuminates what the moonlight reflecting off the window panes does not.

At first, just the comfortable airplane seats become obvious as our eyes try to find tangible objects. These first-class seats were put up here by someone other than me. I know they are from the airplane room, which is a country mile from here. I’m impressed by all the effort it had to take getting these seats up here.

This is a perfect spot to recline, buttons on each side of a seat arm- adjust the recline. A heavily used ash tray sits top side for nervous flying folks. We’re three stories high in an Italian Village as we pretend we just boarded a Pan Am 747. Candy, flowers, pizza and music fill out the rest of this balcony scene.

“It feels so forbidden to sneak away in the middle of the night. It feels like when Romeo visited Juliet on her balcony.” Maureen speaks to me with a tone that is both bewitching and captivating. She says, “I’ve had my eye on you from across the street since we were six years old. I always knew I would make you mine.” “Me too, I confess.” We are consumed in the moment as we hold hands and stare upwards…star gazing.

The only thing missing is a glass slipper, we both have school tomorrow so our night ends sooner than later. We extinguish the candle, then disembark from the airline seats inside the balcony set. It takes two minutes to deliver her back to her unread “I’ll be back soon note” to mom. One of our Fortune Cookies promised us this tid-bit “Fun and excitement awaits you” No truer fortune cookie ever existed!