One Man’s Trash—
I’ve been told I have an “active imagination.” Like that’s a bad thing. I tend to tune out the “real world” with all of its stress and pressures, in order to spend every waking moment on some back lot, somewhere. I always defend my so-called fantasy life… what’s “fake” to you is “real” to me! Because the stuff you see on TV does exist; it’s not fake! I see it, I smell it, and if I can climb all over it, I DO!
And all the old things stored inside these back lots are like some cool kid’s garage. Some people might call it junk, but you know what they say, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” I’d say this is especially true for a kid, and this kid has access to every toy… past, present, or future. No size is too big. And many items are custom built just for one scene, making them special rarities.
Those rarities will have their one big moment in the sun. Like those mayflies that live only for one day… they appear in the world to do their business and then, just like that, Poof!… it’s over. Once these oversized gizmos and special props have served their purpose, they are retired and forever laid to rest. The hands of time and dejection begin to turn them into forgotten relics. It was the Toy Story before the story was told. Gizmos and gadgets that once had a part to play… now left in a warehouse to collect dust. Because… in Hollywoodland, You’re only as good as your last role.
These items just want a good home. Although MGM provides them with shelter, the buildings on this lot are jam packed and they hardly know what they have. But, since it might get reused one day, they keep it. That was old school studio mentality, when MGM ruled the screen. This world will never topple.
Well, at least they are captured on film for eternity. To me… finding them is like accidentally stumbling into the world’s largest toy store. Their keep it mentality created a haven of things to play with. It didn’t take long to see that MGM has a much better toy chest than I do. I have wandered into a warehouse filled with riches that I cannot believe. I am a pirate who has found beaches lined with gold. It is a bounty. I am Woody Allen in Sleeper, with those huge vegetables.
While I have Tonka trucks, Matchbox cars, and army guns; MGM has fuselages and rocket ships and stagecoaches and submarines! And they are all REAL!
But, no one uses them. It’s like the kid who once lived here grew up and moved away. This stuff is one garage sale away from ending up God knows where. And, knowing the eventual fate of MGM, I tell myself I am doing these nostalgic items a favor… a turn of good service, by giving them a forever home where they will be appreciated.
Yes, on this day, I officially scale up my findings. When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that I would unearth the airplane whose cockpit has been used in two Twilight Zone episodes—one with William Shatner, and one with John Carradine. I will recognize it immediately and I won’t be able to believe my eyes.
I see a three-story rocket ship in the corner of this giant warehouse. It towers to the ceiling and it even has its capsule beside it. It is dusty as heck, but my first thought is… I have to have that! I begin to imagine that rocket ship in my own backyard… Still reeling from the 1969 space mission, I decide then and there that we will name it GEMINI and fly to space ourselves. Or… we can listen to music and read magazines up there. We can haul our record albums up and play them on our excellent sound system that we will have installed!
It Gets Even Better—
I continue on to what is unmistakably a hangar… or, what is to my eyes, a humongous “toy chest,” which happens to be locked. But, I’m good at picking locks.
In no time, I’m in… I waste no time and go straight for the cockpit.
There are so many knobs and levers it’s astonishing to see what pilots must deal with. These are real planes, cut into sections. A fuselage from a Jumbo jet used in Sky Jacked, has an upstairs/downstairs and this plane is a teen age party spot. Comfy chairs recline, food table carts sit waiting for a pretty face to push them. Since there is a lock on the hangar door, security takes for granted this building is secure. I take for granted they will never come in here, so I let my hair down, literally!
I have had many an Odyssey in this cock pit, maybe even better then Flight 33’s crew.
Anything goes in here. What goes on in the airplane room stays in the airplane room.
Signs, Signs… Everywhere a Sign—
The next cool department in this Super Store of toys is behind New York Street, in a covered two story, steel structure that can easily double for any Bowery warehouse. Inside are signs you all have seen; every TV show and film on this property have used them. I estimate there are 500 large flashing neon Broadway signs stored in here. Unlike the other oversized treasures, these get used all the time, or they used to, in MGM’s heyday. Now, like everything else, it just collects dust.
If you look real close at the neon signs that flash on your favorite Twilight Zone episodes that were filmed on New York street, you will see them again and again, on all the different building fronts. Like a deck of cards being reshuffled. But this card game went on for decades. I would think this is all very valuable and should be saved, rather than destroyed, but what do I know… I’m just a kid.
I can see how this environment would bring out your artistic side. It’s fake, yet real. Like a huge puzzle with all the pieces spread out around the kitchen table… waiting for their turn to get placed. Only this table is the whole “fake” neighborhood. It’s a magical puzzle that is 3D. Once you place the pieces in their designated spots, they come to life. They blink and flash. And they have buttons and moving parts. The artists, or set designers just need to decide… what corner? what store? which building front? It’s a game of mix and match… Which item goes best where, for which shot? Every job here looks so fun. This is a big kid’s toy chest. The back lot is the board and the pieces just move around like one big family. I could hide in here all day…
Does your street need lights? We got those! Maybe you need snow? No problem. Heck lady, we can even throw ya a parade! Set props from every era and every walk of life… oil lamps to electric lighting… horse and buggy to hot rods… Night can become day and day can become night. We can turn the middle of July into Christmas. We can wave a wand and turn this place into Paris, complete with mustached men playing accordions with scarves hanging around their necks. Never mind the big blue tarps covering up the Culver City ordinariness behind you… it’s not in frame!
Nothing is real or what it seems, this place is run by Wizards.
Another drawer in this giant toy chest is the helmet room, located by an ocean liner. (Not a real ocean liner, of course.) There are helmets from Combat, army jackets, and a mountain of ammo clips that snap into place, allowing eight rounds to be fired. The guns are not here though, and it appears that this room has already been picked over.
A clothes hanger that says “Ben-Hur’s head gear” stands forsaken in a closet, missing its iconic helmet, like a couple who have become separated after a long marriage. Soylent Green used this room as a make shift wardrobe in 1972. But the biggest garage in the world is the odds and ends storage facility. Nothing too large for this building. Space ships park alongside Pirate ships, and a conning tower from Ice station Zebra peeks over the top with its periscope. Scattered pieces from some by-gone laboratory look like an unfinished science project.
Hidden amazingly in a corner is a headless monster. I would later see this creature on the movie, The Brothers Grimm. And a submarine… My overactive imagination takes off again… that would make a good secret hang out spot for smoking doobies and making out with girls.
Sometimes it takes years to complete a puzzle, but inevitably, I end up seeing all the shows this stuff was used in. Is the puzzle complete?
MGM, thanks for making me the best toy chest any kid could ever dream of...
Written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by Donna Quesada