Author: Phantom of the Backlot

New York street at MGM has a new look. It’s apocalyptic!

“Planet of the Apes” is going to be a high budget show, and lots of money being spent means lots of potential fun for me! What kid doesn’t like this stuff? Once again, a story I enjoyed on the big-screen has now become something very real that I can be part of.

These type of sets are massive, with tons of people involved–it takes an army of technicians to film an army of apes!

My dad successfully secured passes for me and a guest to watch filming, so there’s no need for me to hide on this shoot! It will take two weeks to film the pilot episode, then a “hold” will be placed on the set until the ratings come in, so please watch!

Jimmy is the lucky friend I choose to be my guest, and our host is stand-by set painter named Glen. On our first morning he’s very busy, clearly being pulled in several different directions at once. Fortunately, we know the place better than he does and can entertain ourselves.

Our invitation to the set includes two meals and unlimited craft service, and we sample everything–fruit loops, bagels, and breakfast burritos. I especially enjoy the perk of having endless chocolate milk.

It’s not long before Roddy McDowall walks by us in a bath robe, already in ape make-up and on his way to wardrobe.

Roddy’s daily transformation. He always made an effort to greet young fans.

As Jimmy and I take it all in, we can’t help but notice the MGM security guards who know us well. It’s only a matter of time before we run afoul of Bronco Bob or Big George, and I expect some explaining will be in order. “Sorry fellas! We walked in the front gate, here’s our pass!”

From what I can glean about the story-line, apes are currently on the warpath against humans. They’re led by “Urko,” the top ape sporting a tall leather helmet that makes him especially intimidating.

He and many other apes will be on horseback, so horses tied up everywhere on New York street, each with a gun harnessed to their saddle. Of course, these equestrian thespians need to rehearse too, so trainers and stuntmen have commandeered an alley where they can put the animals through the motions.

Unlike Roddy MacDowall, who arrives before sunup owing to the long hours he has to spend in the makeup chair, most of the actors wear ape masks that can be slipped on and off. It’s amazing just to hang out among all these Hollywood gorillas casually eating, smoking, and talking SAG. Who knew that apes were union!

Well, this Rolling Stones song sums up this set…

Elsewhere on the set, the stunts and effects departments are working hand-in-hand on a gag where an earthquake causes a sidewalk to collapse into a subway tunnel. In the aftermath, a human and an ape find themselves trapped underground and in desperate need of rescue. This, it appears, will be the complex scene of the day.

Finally, the first scene is up! Mounted apes race through various New York street intersections. We’ve been given strict orders that there are to be no pictures on this set, but I brought a little Kodak “Instamatic” just in case…

I watch intently as the special effects department sets up a rifle that fires “squibs.” These are capsules of blasting putty that create the appearance of a bullet strike on impact. Using these can be dangerous, so the close supervision of effects and stunt departments is obligatory, and stars are replaced by stunt doubles where possible.

Concerned that we get the best view of the action scenes, Jimmy and I decide to watch from the rooftop directly above the soon-to-collapse sidewalk. This effect is ready to rumble.

Directly below us we can see Roddy McDowall (pictured) smoking a cigarette in his blue robe. We’re close enough that the smoke blows into our building, and I snap a couple pictures, keeping in mind that I’ve only got twelve on the roll.

Above photo: My pals, The Sullivans are here, in this building looking out windows. All told, there are about 10 trespassers inside here.

Jimmy spots Gerald across the street on another rooftop. Soon we realize, every kid on our street seems to be either in a window or on a rooftop. We wave and signal like a network. They’re all trespassing except us. Not today. I’ve got a backstage pass suckers!

A countdown begins as the director anxiously speaks into his megaphone “Three, two, one…ACTION!”

Dust flies, fake stones crumble and fall, taking with them an ape and a human destined to wind up in the bowels of the subway. This scene was perfectly executed and, after some quick “pick up” shots, crew lunch is called.

Now back at street level, Jimmy and I linger around camera and the directors chair area while the rest of the crew moves toward catering. Urko slips off his massive leather helmet and ape hand gloves and leaves them sitting in his chair as he joins the others.

There’s no one else around, so. . . I decide to try on Urko’s helmet. Followed by his hands and gloves. And to complete the ensemble, I grab one of the single-bolt rifles that are laying around. All decked out in Urko’s outfit (pictured below), I think I look pretty sharp!

All I need now is a horse!

Before I can requisition one, however, we’re interrupted. Coming around the corner and staring directly at us is none other than Bronco Bob! He’s on foot, and very probably wondering why we are not taking off.

He heads straight for us, but I speak first. “Hold on Bob! we are guests on this set today.”

Here I am, MGM’s “most wanted,” sitting in a director’s chair, dressed in full ape regalia, telling Bob in his flimsy little security outfit to back off. You could almost see the steam coming off Bob’s bald head!

(Urko’s helmet and gloves pictured here are the same I was wearing when I encountered Bronco Bob Coleman of MGM security.)

I can tell Bob wants to rip up my pass. He makes a face like the one Sergeant Carter gives Gomer Pyle when he’s angry!

The spitting image of Security Guard Bronco Bob!

And with that, lunch is served!

Ok Bob, we get it!…could that be me inside this mask?

It’s why Bob came over here in the first place: to eat! As we relax and chow down, we observe Bob going to many different tables and talking to many different people. At one of those tables is the director, Arnold Laven. Bob gets his attention, then starts angrily pointing at us.

We can’t hear what Bob’s saying exactly, but the intention is clear. He wants us out of here! Not two seconds later he bee-lines to our table with a satisfied grin on his face.

“You two are outta here!”

“Can we finish eating please?” I protest.

“No! You’re coming with me. The director has revoked your pass.”

Ain’t that some shit? I’d say we’ve been good as gold. There are a dozen legitimate trespassers on the property right now and Bob busts the only ones who have a pass! As we reach the main gate on Overland, Bob cracks it open and says “Get outta here!”

“Good luck jerk” I reply. “And you better get a paddy wagon for all the trespassers in there right now. You don’t have time to waste eating fatso!”

Jimmy and I walk away, but not any farther than our own gate around the corner. Ten seconds later we’re right back inside the lot.

We cautiously approach catering, knowing Bob may be headed here also. We grab trays and load up with gourmet food, indulging in the seemingly endless offerings. With plastic trays and pockets overflowing, we head to our Boystown fort.

For now we’ll go back to how we normally operate at the backlot: secretly and stealthily. After all, there is still tons of filming ahead!

“Emergency” entrance.

More pix snapped on the sly.

Written and lived by Donnie Norden…

In 1938, an unusually large production on the Desilu backlot needed to build a train station for a few key scenes. The show was, of course, “Gone With the Wind,” and the depot scenes (seen below) are some of the most stirring and memorable in the film.

Unfortunately, most of it burned down a long time ago, and what little survived has since been torn down.

Desilu again laid down rail tracks in 1959 for the “The Untouchables” series. In a spectacular two-parter (episodes 40 and 41), Eliot Ness foils an attempt to hijack the “Alcatraz Express” by criminals intent on freeing Al Capone.

But by 1974, Desilu no longer had this or any other train station. In fact, there were only three depots left in Tinseltown, two of  them are on the MGM backlot and one at Twentieth Century Fox at their main entrance. That one is an L-train. Trains are the thing as both these sets will have train scenes. L-train tracks are now being installed on sections of New York street. After the Fortune gets it’s nicely decorated shots, this rail depot will go haunted looking again like it did in the Phantom of the Backlot. What kid doesn’t like a haunted railroad?

Vincente Minnelli’s “The Band Wagon” (1953) immortalized one of these iconic MGM stations.

And here’s the same gang plank in 1974! This was effectively the last time the station would look so polished, as a little movie called “Planet of the Apes” would soon transform it.

 Which brings us to “The Fortune” (1975),  a Mike Nichols’ film starring Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty.  This show needed a train station, but since Desilu no longer had one, they were obliged to bring the whole production circus over to MGM, a “company move” of less than two miles. It was a pretty easy job for a driver if you could get it.

Maureen gets the ball rolling by calling me about a tremendous amount of activity and lighting she can see from her bedroom window. Jimmy is with me, and we’re already preparing to visit the set when she calls. “We’re on our way! Bye!”

Jimmy and I check in with her, chatting through the bedroom window. She turns down our invite to sneak in, then brags about having a relative who’s a gaffer on this set. Apparently, she has her own “in!”

Maureen looks awfully pretty through the window screen. She’s wearing a white top, and Jimmy and I both smell her perfume. We’re wearing black, since it works well with trespassing at night. We look like criminals and Maureen looks like she stepped off a beach calendar.

Tonight she can wear a dress and get all dolled up since she has a free ticket to ride.  “We’ll be up in the church steeple,” I tell her. “Say a prayer for us trespassers”! Signal us a ‘hello’ from the set tonight.”

“If you see Big George, he’s gonna wanna see proof you’re legal. Tell him I’m there too. With ten other guys!  That should distract him!”

We all giggle, laugh, and split.

Jimmy and I easily make it up to the church belfry. We stare down like we’re in some kind of space capsule observing a very lit-up Earth from above. The shape is actually similar to a space craft: a cone shape at the top that tightly squeezes in two guests side by side.

Trust me, I’m a kid who has been in a space capsule. This is very similar. It allows us a view of the set as if from a lunar orbiter.

The views from this steeple.

Jimmy and I watch as vans shuttle the crew back and forth. Diesel exhaust from generators conveniently disguises the pot odor we’re generating up here.

Jimmy seems less about this moment tonight and more about Maureen. If I had an “eject button” up here, I’d use it. He’s too interested in my girlfriend. . . who we suddenly see, dressed in white, frolicking on the set! She’s been escorted there by her gaffer friend, and I know she knows we’re up here . . .

We watch as she walks around next to Warren Beatty. He and Jack Nicholson are having an intense conversation as they push a cart holding Stockard Channing. (See above.)

We watch Maureen as she slithers around the set, eventually moseying over to the fence by the train depot where we all climb in. No one but us and the two owls next to us can see this next move. . .

Maureen signals for our attention as if she’s landing a jet on an aircraft carrier. Broad hand gestures are directed up at us, and we respond, popping our heads out and waving quickly so as not to be seen by the entire set.

Below, Maureen’s view as she signals the church tower… 

Contact has been made, but the symbols have changed. Maureen extends her middle finger and proudly flicks us the bird.

Just as quickly, we respond. Four arms and four pointing birds protrude outwards from the steeple towards that hot little blonde in the nice, white beach outfit. That’s what’s called “doubled-barrel flicking” the bird.

We stay until midnight, Beatty and Jack filming inside the old Pullman. As we leave, we take a final glimpse before jumping back over the fence and heading home.

We stop briefly to tap on Maureen’s window. Some messed up hair and then a hand peer back at us. Her hand quickly changes from a polite and friendly five finger wave to a one finger stationary Universal salute. She got us again!

We laugh all the way home, one block away.

Planet of the Apes set dressing. New York street get’s prepared, while “The Fortune” shoots at the depot. Stay tuned!

Written and lived by Donnie Norden

MGM’s New York street is seeing massive preparation for a new TV series based off the popular “Planet of the Apes” movies.

When a group of studio laborers tell me this, I can’t believe it! These are my favorite movies in the theaters, and now they’ll be both on TV and filming in my backyard!

Set decoration is already underway. Truckload after truckload of concrete and broken cement is being dumped along the length of New York Street and Brownstone Street. It’s a massive undertaking.

It’s all there to make things look post-apocalyptic. The phony high-rises on the backlot have theoretically been damaged or destroyed by earthquakes. Humans exist, but live like rats in the decay, and apes are now in charge of this area code.

It will take a few weeks to get this set up to snuff, with the labor and art crews working side by side. Special effects is also busy on some gags, including “earthquakes” that will cause a subway to collapse. An endless line of dump trucks line New York street, dumping load after load of broken concrete on all the streets that intersect in this metropolis. Bobcats, or tiny tractors, then skillfully reposition this cement along sidewalks and doorways. Cement destruction due to Earthquakes are what the Art Department is selling here.

Everyone on the set is friendly, which makes it easy for me and my pals to intermingle with the Fox crew. Work lights illuminate the set at night for security, hazards exist everywhere, and MGM guards patrol the area after closing. Seeing this set under the glow of 1000 watt light bulbs screwed into worklight stands that stretch the length of the street called 5th avenue is extremely impressive. The light stands are so old they look like they were in some old monster movies, they appear haunted themselves. Rigid steel uprights with a 90 degree bend on the top hold a large caged light bulb that is almost the size of a human head. These lights get daisy chained together and appear to go on forever. When we see security do foot patrol, the lights cast huge human form shadows on the fronts of all the buildings. These shadows are spooky, yet fascinating. Security appears as giant monsters at night. But from 6am to 6pm, it’s just 20th Century Fox and a studio work force preparing the streets.

As preparation takes place on this end of the backlot, the opposite end is busy with painters painting the old trains. Most importantly, the whole set can be seen from my girlfriend Maureen’s bedroom window.

This art department at the train station has inherited a decent looking set, Young Frankenstein had this depot looking good. The Fortune, which is currently shooting on the Desilu lot, is just hanging a few light fixtures and splashing on some fresh green paint over signage that says Pennsylvania Station. While the west end of Lot 2 starts to sparkle, the east end is spending a lot of money to fabricate a decayed environment policed by apes. 

I’m told that as soon as the train scenes are wrapped with Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson, the set will immediately flip over to “Planet of the Apes.”

The Fortune needs the station to look fancy and modern–plush looking trains, folks in suits and ties, etc. The “Apes” want the exact opposite. They want a hunting ground where they can eliminate rag-clad humans!

Apes on horseback with rifles are going to swarm this old train depot, but not until after The Fortune shoots its intricate, interactive dialogue scenes here. As complete opposite ends of the spectrum as you could want to see.

Little do I know at this time that my dad is working behind the scenes, trying to get me access to the “Planet of the Apes” set. It’s an opportunity that rarely presents itself, and I may have a big surprise waiting a few weeks down the line, but for now it’s still a dad’s secret from his son.

What’s fun is seeing the daily progression of the sets and how cool everything looks all lit up in the night-time! This place is normally very dark at night, I mean, very scary dark!

Word rapidly spreads through the school-kids network about what’s in store on the backlot. Even people I don’t normally care much for are suddenly showing an interest, asking for info, schedules, or even just to show them around. I’m popular, like some producer’s kid!…

I should charge admission. This event most certainly will sell out!

I expect there to be a large neighborhood turn out when the film trucks and equipment finally start rolling in. MGM security will have its hands full … as we look forward to a little Hot Fun in the Summertime.

Written and lived by Donnie Norden…

This long-awaited exterior set is finally ready. The studio tore down Stalag 13 to build this set here… so it better be good. Hogan’s Heroes is one of my favorite TV shows!

Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson will be starring in this Mike Nichols production. I love Bonnie and Clyde, so I hope this show is also a shoot-em up type film…

MGM has sound stages committed to this film and now I hear the MGM train station will be needed for a few scenes. Work has begun on Lot 2 in preparation of the Fortune’s visit here.

Lot 2 is busy, we have a set being scouted at our New York street. It is a 20th Century Fox production. A van with the Fox logo is full of a production personnel. You can tell when the lot is being scouted. Just the way the creative types exit the vehicle, like in a happy daze…looking, pointing, laughing. Lighting gaffers, the director of photography, transportation, special effects usually take this ride.

Their imagination is needed to decide if this street or set can create the needed ambience that the production is looking for. All seems well by their expressions. We may have another customer wanting to film here on this not so washed-up movie lot. I watch approvingly from a rooftop above them as they seem interested in the entire NY street.

My first year of public school just ended and I passed with flying colors…and very long hair. If St. Augustine’s could see me now!

Summer is already off to a busy backlot schedule.

The Fortune set at Desilu is getting some filming in as we switch lots…often we do both studio backlots in the same day.

Production Never Sleeps is the saying in Hollywood!

The Fortune set at Desilu is a bit difficult to access, it requires bravely walking across open space in complete view of the film crew. This is dangerous since we look too young to be technical employees. This set is devoid of kids also, so that disguise is not applicable.

Jimmy and I do not feel urgency to even push the envelope today. Instead, we watch from the same hilltop I was rescued from inside of… most recently.

From this vantage point we are entertained by vintage cars driving around as background on this set. We can see the bright arc lights smoking away. The actors, Beatty and Nicholson pop in and out of view. The homes built for this show block us from seeing the street scenes being filmed inside this corridor.

Quickly…we become bored.

We have more fun tumbling in the high grass on this warm summer day. My friends, the Sullivan brothers, have installed two hammocks, centered between a clump of trees with a view of the village and filming that is taking place.

Great job Sullivan boys!

When it gets warm, we know where to turn on the sprinklers to cool off as we lay suspended in the air. If you tumble out, the tall grass will catch ya… anyhow.

On my transistor radio Vin Scully directs the Dodger game. They are looking awfully good this year. Hammocks, baseball, and filming, my way to spend the day!

We can hear the movie director’s voice, Mike Nichols. He spits commands into his megaphone. Extras respond accordingly. It is exactly what a director should look like, like a quarterback running an offense. We catch glimpses of Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson in a huddle with the director…Damn-they got a good team!

But- I got a good team also. This feature is bigger than a TV show looks when on the backlot.  It looks like Ringling Brothers Circus is back here. This is the biggest set we have ever seen constructed from scratch, it took several months to build to get to this point. It sits on the footprint of Stalag 13, to me and my friends, it does not fit here. In actuality, this landscape fits this southwestern motif much better than it did a German prison camp. You know, the Stalag with the palm trees in the background. The fake snow patches beyond the set that helped create a frozen tundra illusion have all been removed. I flipped a couple over before. They are plaster molds and are very heavy, which is why I didn’t end up with any when this camp was liberated.

And now, this same show has interest in MGM lot 2. Both my lots are extremely busy…which makes my life very busy. While all my pals spend their summer days going to the movies, I actually watch these movies get made. The only thing missing is the popcorn. Now this show will end up on Lot 2, it’s going to film right across from Maureen’s place, it’s like this show is coming to MGM to meet my family. Guess who’s coming to dinner…The Fortune.  

A security guard mentioned this to me in a fact finding mission earlier at a guard shack on Ince avenue… “this is a really good director!.. this Mike Nichols guy!”

This is just part of his resume…above.

A security time sheet, above.

Yes… there is security guard film critic guarding my old playground!

Written and lived by Donnie Norden…

It is with disheartening news that I share my personal tales of Columbia Ranch… It is now known that this lot will soon go the way of MGM and so many other iconic sites, as history is sold off to the highest bidder… in this case, tract home development.

My boots first touched ground on this movie backlot in the mid-seventies. Very easy to enter; Jimmy and I simply climbed a brick wall behind a supermarket. We covered the entire lot on our first visit. It was Christmas day… 1975.

Above: This is where we climbed in… right through this supermarket parking lot.

Above: Climbing in for the first time, and taking cover for the first time… is intoxicating. Slowly we proceed… one bush, one tree, then a forest, and finally, some buildings to take cover in.

Above: The buiding we are hiding in now will shortly become a regular set in the TV show Fantasy Island.

Below: As we weave around, through pathways and dirt roads, we see a western street that is very old. Some facades are starting to become slanted or unsafe to climb on. A saloon interior is inside one of these. It has seen better days.

Above and Below: We spend time time climbing on what ever we think can hold our weight. It is neat to look from behind the dusty drapes, and spotted windows that overlook this wind-blown, tumbleweed street. It’s like we are expecting a high-noon gun battle!

We take our time in the old west, peeking around for security. If past history at MGM has taught us anything, we may not see the sheriff at all… on this religious, toy sharing holiday.

A church steeple towers over these two-story western buildings from a neighboring set beyond. It caught our attention, since we like climbing to the top of them. Every studio has at least one belfry.

As we climb to the top we become… filthy! 

This hobby may seem glamorous, but right now I’m covered in bird shit!

Dead birds lay everywhere. They apparently become trapped inside. It stinks horribly. We rate this the worst steeple we have ever been inside. But, it does give us a privileged vantage point, overlooking a neighborhood with very famous houses.

Above: We tear out of the steeple and through this little village. We discover that by simply turning the corner, we journey from Europe to an all-American residential street.

Above: We run inside the front door of the Bewitched house… upstairs, downstairs, backyard, every angle… like we’re buying it. 

Below: Right across the street lives my favorite kid on TV… Dennis the Menace. 

We relive countless, classic moments on each front porch… this is as cool as it gets for me. All the obstacles blocking us from this experience have been overcome, we have conquered another iconic backlot!

Above: The General Lee from the Dukes of Hazard.

Below: The only stages on this backlot…

Memories—

Jimmy and I had our last chase/get-away on this lot. Although we had no way of knowing it then… this incident, on a Saturday afternoon, would be our last close call moment. The closure of a decade of trespassing at every studio. Our swan song.

After being seen by a man on a golf cart, we knew by his reaction, we better hide. So, we jumped into an old barn, behind a sheet of plywood, which was laying up against a wall.

Face to face, again… just Jimmy and I.

Waiting, listening, barely breathing, as two men search this barn. Finally, while listening to them talk and search, they conclude that we must’ve gotten away.

A few minutes later… we did!

Jimmy was 24. I was 22. We were 12 and 14 when we began a life of running and hiding.

Looking back, we had no idea how historic this get away would be… our very last, as a duet. Like Butch and Sundance, except we lived on.

On September 25, 1980… John Bonham died. A news flash bursted over everything else on the radio, just as Danny, Jimmy, and I, jumped over the studio wall… the Led Zeppelin drummer was no more.

Sadly, we took this news in, on the Fantasy Island jungle set. Danny, being a terrific drummer himself, could barely fathom this event.

We were all stunned. This took the wind out of our sails that afternoon.

Led Zeppelin played on the radio all day… From the pastel shades of “Going to California,” to the volcanic eruption that is “Immigrant Song,” this was an unmatched band and Bonham was a beast of a drummer. These songs emanated from every building. It became our soundtrack as we remembered his life and the Zeppelin concert we saw together, at “The Fabulous Forum.”

A backlot is more than just a filming location. Life takes place in, on, and around its pearly gates. History is made, but also lives here…

Just as we had to accept that Led Zeppelin will never be again… we must now, 40 years later, accept that this treasure of a movie lot is soon to be just a fond memory.

That’s the way it is…

Written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by Donna Quesada

Visit my other blog: The The Glamour Tram

A Little Background on Columbia Ranch—

Hidden within the city of Burbank is The Columbia Ranch movie facility, surrounded on all four sides by residential property. Modest single family homes stand outside its fences on these charming, tree lined streets.

In baseball terms, this lot is like Fenway Park or Wrigley Field, places of unbelievable magic and history making… tucked behind the most conventional of appearances.

Two story homes and apartments can easily see inside this fabricated world… right from their living room windows, residents can have a peek over the ivy covered fences that secure this iconic movie location. It’s as if they are part of famous movie sets that sit right across the street. Like having a balcony seat for a fine play. Except this play never ends… until now.

Being this close to actual film production, sounds, smoke and production activities slip into this normally quiet residential neighborhood. For some residents, their entire life has been an inadvertent part of this movie history.

It has been this way for generations, but soon, this wonderful, western-style, movie playground will go the way of so many other former studio backlots, such as MGM, Fox, and Desilu, which have all seen this sad movie playout before: Quick cash, in the form of real estate development, will overide the movie history that has played out both inside and outside the backlot. Paving paradise once again.

It seems escalating property values overide history every time. Who needs these old buildings and mature forest areas that lie inside this lot? 

And number crunchers will make the case and justify the cause. But the effect is felt most acutely by those who worked, in some cases, their entire life at this film ranch, as well as movie history buffs. The community surrounding this studio knows no other normal. It’s a throwback to Hollywood’s past glory.

You may think you never have seen this lot or experienced it… ahh, but you have!

The home from Bewitched, starring Elizabeth Montgomery, is still standing. It sits across the street from Jay North’s Dennis the Menace home. Chances are… you have watched TV episodes that were done entirely on this lot. In the back of your mind, you might’ve wondered, just where these neighborhoods exist.

The Columbia Ranch… that’s where!

A Personal Anecdote—

I was fortunate to be invited on a movie set during filming. The movie being filmed was Hooper. It starred Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, and Jan Michael Vincent. The movie is about Stuntmen in Hollywood. The director was Hal Needham.

Chariot races were being filmed that afternoon. It was stunts on top of stunts. A stunt rodeo was taking place. I was sitting in a chair next to video playback on the historic High Noon western street, from the Gary Cooper classic. I approached Mr. Needham, as he replayed the activity just captured on film.

Being a teenager, I was caught up in all this excitement. I had to ask… “what was your most thrilling stunt ever?”

He turned away from what he was doing — directing a movie — and proudly turned to me and boasted, “I still have the record for car rolls: 23 rolls on one cannon flip.” As he was telling me this, Burt Reynolds walked up, and upon overhearing this, said, “He can have that record! Tell him how long you were in the hospital, Hal!”

Mr. Needham replied, “Well, I broke my back, several ribs, and was in traction for awhile, but I own a record no one on this set can touch!” Burt then chimed in, “or even want to,” as the two of them looked at each other and laughed.

A priceless moment that is as fresh as the day it happened. The beauty of memories is… they can’t be bulldozed.

Trailer: Burt Reynolds, filming at Columbia Ranch.

Fun Facts and photos on Columbia Ranch (Retroweb.com)—

• Founded in 1920 as Columbia Pictures Studios.
• Built in 1921, this 17-acre Hollywood movie studio was originally the historic Columbia Pictures Studios.
• “In 1948, Columbia establishes a television arm, housed under the revived Screen Gems banner, which makes it one of the first studios to invest in television.”
• Spring 1970 – “soundstage # 4 caught fire and some Bewitched sets were damaged (especially the kitchen). Not wasting any time, the show shot scenes for The Salem Saga episodes while the kitchen set was repaired and redesigned.”
• “In 1972, the nearly bankrupt Columbia Pictures sold its Hollywood location at Sunset and Gower and moved over the hill to Burbank in the San Fernando Valley, where they shared space on the Warner Brothers lot (renamed for a while as “The Burbank Studios”).”
• The studio had no backlot, and instead, the Columbia Ranch in Burbank was used for exteriors.
• The Ranch started in 1934, as a 40 acre plot purchased by Harry Cohn, head of Columbia Pictures Corporation.
• “Over the years, Columbia Pictures sold off much of its 80-acre Burbank ranch to developers. Columbia’s ranch had acted as the studio’s backlot since 1935, with its scenery of grassy park and fountain, Old West street (destroyed by fire in 1970), and facades of city buildings, townhouses and suburban homes (including the Bewitched house).”
• A 1957 aerial photo “shows the single soundstage Columbia built at the ranch. Later, in the late 1950s, a second stage was built right next to it. Also, you can make out Columbia’s special effects water tank with its sky backing almost dead center. Up to right where there’s a semi-circular backing was the spot the lamasery set was built for Frank Capra’s LOST HORIZON. Today that portion of the lot has a large drugstore and a parking lot. Many year ago Columbia sold off a portion of the lot to a developer.” – Richard P.
• “The real street used in the Blondie movies was right near CBS Studios. I took some photos when I was there last year. One of the houses was later recreated at the Columbia/Warner ranch…which later became the I Dream of Jeannie house.” – Anthony
• “The (new) “re-created” Blondie house at the Columbia Ranch from the early 1940s was indeed used for the exterior on Jeannie, as well as Mr.Wilson’s house on Dennis, and the Anderson house on Father Knows Best, during the 1950s/60s. It’s still standing, has most likely been used for numerous other TV shows and movies, as well as commercials throughout the decades.” – Mark J. C.
• “[In Bewitched,] I seem to remember the Kravitzes front house exterior being the house that would later become (or by 1970/71 was already) the Partridges’ house [but in the episode “Mary the Good Fairy,”] there’s a closeup of Gladys Kravitz gasping as she sees the police picking up Mary. and Mrs. Kravitz is [standing instead on the front porch of] the Donna [Reed] house (and also Dennis Mitchell’s house).” – Mark J. C.
• “I think they used a different exterior for the Kravitz house in that two-parter as the former house suffered some damage in a backlot fire.” – Anthony
• In 1970, three successive fires (in January, April and August) destroyed half the lot
• In mid-1971, became a combined Columbia and Warner ranch
• 1990 – Columbia left, and ranch became The Warner Ranch
• “All of the houses on the Warner Ranch are now complete structures. I don’t think there are any “facades” left. Some of the “facades” have been enclosed within the past decade to protect the sets from water damage.” – William F., Jr.

Some of the Shows that Filmed on Columbia Ranch—

Father Knows Best
The Donna Reed Show
Hazel
The Hathaways
The Farmers Daughter
Our Man Higgins
Gidget
Bewitched
I Dream of Jeannie
The Flying Nun (Convent set)
The Monkees
Route 66
The Partridge Family – exteriors AND interiors (on soundstages at ranch)
Camp Runamuck
Here Come the Brides
The Wackiest Ship in the Army
Fantasy Island
Eight is Enough

Columbia Ranch lagoon and berm seen in Gidget.

Columbia Ranch Western Street seen in The Monkees.

Home of Major Tony Nelson in I Dream of Jeannie.

Home of The Partridge Family…a facade rebuilt following a backlot fire in 1970.

The Ranch’s New York Street as seen in Bewitched.

Columbia Ranch lagoon as seen in I Dream of Jeannie.

Post-fire aerial view of the Columbia Ranch in 1970.

(Bullet points and photos courtesy of Retroweb.com)

Written by Donnie Norden
Edited by Donna Quesada

I have been dying to show Maureen our new hangout…the caretakers house. I cased the joint again right after school, just to make sure I can still make entry. Seeing the window is just slightly ajar, it looks exactly how Jimmy and I left it.

Our house below…

Tonight, is date night, Maureen and I will have a picnic supper inside this really nice house we just inherited…

Our school pictures below…Maureen on the left, Donnie on the right.

Sure, we have no furnishings yet, but we’re  just a young couple starting out. All our utility bills seem paid, everything works, that’s most important. So it’s time to just relax with my girl- friend- buddy- pal.

I’m not in the mood to be chased or hunted tonight. I just want to show this super foxy chic just how cool she really is!

Lots of older guys hit on my girlfriend and some even offer her rides in their fancy cars, I’ve seen it attempted. She always says (No)!

I’m telling you, there is (no one) I would rather share a fox hole with. She’s got my back!

We have packed a basket full of goodies. Peanut butter and and jelly sandwiches will be the main entree. I snuck 2 of my dads cheap beers out from his fridge.

I have my own fridge now, it’s just empty at the moment. Maureen and I may cook next time…it’s doable, we soon will both agree. I brought some Hershey’s Kisses for later, always thinking ahead!

But what I most look forward to is making popcorn. I have Jiffy-Pop hidden under a cloth in the picnic basket. This table cloth is hiding an assortment of, girly things, such as a red rose, Hershey’s Kisses, and reading material…

No BB guns or buck knives, tonight.

I will share the surprise items with her as soon as we unpack. We have a cassette player, I checked that box before leaving home. It has a two-hour tape. One side is Led Zeppelin and the other side is Steely Dan and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

All that is left to do now is to go through a hole in the fence. I just made it earlier this afternoon. Impossible to see from the inside due to shrubs, it is hardly noticeable when walking down the public street…outside.

My guess, it will last us a couple weeks until it’s found and fixed. I only need it tonight, anyhow.

I already know this girl can climb with the best of them. Fearless, I call her!… She has nothing left to prove. She was trained well. But tonight, she won’t have to climb.

I will do all the dirty work this evening, cut her a hole in the fence, fall through a window and be as smooth as Chevy Chase as I open the front door. I will then escort her and our picnic basket inside, across the threshold.

All goes accordingly, and as we tour our new home together.

Press play…Graham Nash

Her expressions are of surprise and amazement. She asks, while looking around, “Where are the bedrooms”…”Great question”… I quickly respond. I pick up the picnic basket and say “Follow me…I’m one step ahead of you”

We excitedly run up the stairs. We have the pick of two bedrooms that both look over a vast expanse of the backlot. We settle down in the one that we feel has the best view.

Summer is about to start, the tall eucalyptus trees are throwing long dark shadows on the Bewitchin’ Pool below us. We can see the Bavarian village that Young Frankenstein recently finished filming on, off in the distance. The towers and irregular rooftops look like layers on top of a cake. The pictures we see through our windows appear like album covers. Everything is extra groovy tonight.

The Ford Bronco even makes a courtesy drive by, slowly, on the dirt road behind us. We can’t quite tell who the lonely guard is tonight.

The setting sun casts a bright orange hew on the distant Bavarian village. It’s  still painted exactly as it was in that film.

An Art Director couldn’t ask for more of a scenic atmosphere or background.

Maureen begins to unpack our basket as I fiddle with the radio/ cassette player.

“A candle”… Maureen asks?

“Yes, it will be dark soon, it’s a very small candle don’t worry” I sheepishly speak and smile simultaneously…”Oh, I’m not worried, just asking,” she adds.

“Ooohhh, nice pick, this looks like a good MAD magazine!” she begins to get excited…

“Popcorn?” her next question, as she holds it by the wire handle…”how will we pop this?”

“Downstairs, on our new oven top” I remind her. She turns all smiles and giggles and says “Let’s do it!”

My heart flutters

“Let’s make popcorn!” she says!

“Sure…sure Popcorn, yes, Popcorn,” of course, as I realize what she meant! 

Downstairs, we pop corn as Steely Dan plays…“Reelin in the Years.”

Back upstairs, in our master bedroom, we share an apple. Then a jelly sandwich. The moon, in a crescent shape, is beginning to rise.

“This is the time the owls come out to hunt… let’s just listen to nothing for a bit.” She agrees… moments later, two owls swoosh, screech and dive in the field in front of us. Silhouetted against what is now a very dark blue sky.

Well that is as romantic as it gets I think to myself, watching owls hunt!

So out break the Hershey’s Kisses and we stick one in each others mouth…. like any grown up couple would do.

We lay down on the magically carpeted floor together, just as the moon peaks inside our bedroom window with its romantic blue tones. The leaves on the trees are blowing in a gentle breeze, I hit play on the cassette tape deck again…

Our mouths bask in chocolate…but our ears bask in the music.

Stairway to Heaven begins to play as only Stairway to Heaven can play…perfectly!

We crack open two Burgermeisters to toast this event. Our favorite song helps begin our first evening in our new pad.

Cheers Maureen, your the best side kick a fella can have…

Thanks MGM, everything’s sensational, as usual.

This is the type a moment that you wish never ends!

A Stairway to Heaven really exists in MGM 

Written and lived by Donnie Norden and Maureen Miller

Having been captured recently by Big George, I knew it would just be a matter of time before this day would happen… Today is that day.

As Jimmy and I ride our bikes around MGM today after school, we head down Overland. It is the street that separates the front lot from the backlot. We are on the Lot 2 side and naturally we check to see who is working the guard shack over on the Lot 1 side of the street.

If it’s friend we will cross the street to visit. If it’s a foe, as it appears it is, we will just mostly ride on the backlot side, just looking inside the fence.

We see Les Green across the street, we consider him dangerous since he would love to catch me. Frankly, he is too old. So we ignore him and really don’t consider him a threat.

Lester…pictured below… in the West Gate shack.

Doing just that, staying focused on our side, I hear him shout over top of the few cars going down Overland. We turn our heads, Jimmy and I, as we stop pedaling. Les is as animated as I have ever seen him. He is standing outside the gate and is on of the dirt sidewalk beyond the guard shack. His arms are waving as he continues to shout, he has something clenched is his hand…some papers.

Les looks like he’s trying to get a star’s autograph with his paper in hand …jumping in the air… waving. It’s like I’m Elvis Presley or Gene Kelly…I quickly process this strange image…

I can hear now and as the traffic stops for a moment, he is shouting at me- particlarly me, not Jimmy. “We gotcha, we got everything,… your house… your phone number, and your name!”

We sit and stare but quickly we jaywalk over to him, we all meet at the West Gate guard shack. He proudly hands it to me, “Read it and weep” he says. “This is fresh from the press, it just got dropped off by my Captain”

It is 5 pages and quickly realize I know almost everyone on it, I sit myself down inside his shack while taking this all in… Jimmy crams in next to me and my spinning stool seat. We read slowly, we may never see this paper again. I’m flattered I mean so much to them. I was just caught a month ago so they revised this whole thing…. just because I’m on it.

Les stands outside his own shack as we box him out. We go over each and every name and who captured each trespasser. We see who is worth their salt in security…naturally Big George seems to be MGM’s Top Dog!

Al Black and Bob Trigger Happy Coleman are next in line. Bob takes them… dead or alive…we chuckle.  We have been here awhile and are barely through page 3. I look up to see Les bent over and leaning into a car window that wants to enter the lot…I quickly roll this captured list up and stick it under my sweatshirt, as I push Jimmy towards our bicycles. We silently ride off without saying… good-bye.

So now I have me this fancy list fresh off the MGM printing press. It can double as my rolodex, If I need a friend’s number, well it’s probably on this list.

Here it is Culver City…find yourself…Enjoy!

Written and lived by Donnie Norden

So far, 1974 has been magical. It picked up right where ’73 left off. TV show after TV show, movie after movie, my event calender has been very active. I barely have time to go to school…

Due to my unique and unusual hobby, I have become very popular when on campus. My English teacher and I have become very good friends. She is a very special grown up to me. She knows I’m different, and so is she. She says I remind her of her boyfriend, who she offers up to meet me. He is an inmate at a local prison…Terminal Island.

Well, I am flattered, as I accept her invitation. We agree to take a field trip after school, just me and teacher… in her two-seater 914 Porsche. Feel Flows, the Beach Boys classic, plays from her Blaupunkt radio.

As we speed cross the large green Vincent Thomas Bridge, I can see all of Long Beach in the distance. As her hair blows in the wind, Debby points, “that’s where we’re headed… that prison over there!”

We arrive on this minimum security island… All Along The Watchtower, by Jimi Hendrix pounds inside my head, as we pass underneath a real watchtower. Debby, dressed in very tight blue jeans and a tight black sweater, clears us for a visitor entry. She looks mouth watering pleasant. Once inside the facility, Terminal Island turns into Temptation Island. For most male inmates, anyway.

Inmate 13 has entered the room. A handsome all-American type that must be extremely popular in here. She introduces me to him, as then she leaves the area. I was not expecting to be alone with a prisoner.

Inmate 13, in his Orange jump suit, sits across from me. I’m wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and tennis shoes. We begin by discussing Debby, our only common ground. He asks, “so, where do you know her from?” I respond, “she is my teacher, we’re on a field trip”…

“How about you?” as I stare back at his shackled arms… “I’m her boy friend, or was, until I was extradited here!”

Our eyes lock together… a stone cold silence takes over the room, at this moment… he then continues… “I was framed and I am being charged with importing cocaine from Brazil in aerosol cans!” Well I’ll be dammed, this guy is bad ass! I think to myself… even though, everyone in here probably thinks they were framed!

I realize this is not the scared-straight moment that Debby was hoping for… I’m actually impressed by #13 in orange… friendly exchanges conclude my first ever prison experience.

This guy has it all… looks, charm, an international business, women in Brazil, a woman in Manhattan Beach… Debby… and a Federal Trial he is sure he can win, based off his extradition process being flawed. Now, he has a 14 year old fan. I see what Debby likes in him… and in me. Bad boys bad boys whatchya gonna do…

I take this experience to the Desilu backlot, as Debbie drops me off… to process this  meeting I just shared with inmate 13. I sit on the stairs under a sign that says Sing Sing Prison… Ossinings, New York

This is a maximum security prison set used in the Untouchables, that sits alone, as it towers above an isolated corner on Desilu’s back 40. I like to visit sets that pertain to my mind state… It’s cool that I have my own prison to wonder in!

Heck, I have a whole world to wonder in…

I have forts… or offices, at two major Hollywood Studios. I have produced an 8mm movie on this lot. Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson are filming a blockbuster next to my saloon, where my World Headquarters for Hole in the Wall existed.. until we were suddenly cancelled.

I recently met MGM’s most iconic and dynamic duo, Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly. I just saw Frankenstein roam the backlot. I have been on the set of Medical Center and have seen Chad Everett, up close, multiple times.

Sydney Poitier, Bill Cosby, Redd Foxx, Jack Cassidy, Broderick Crawford, Peter Lawford, Richard Roundtree, Charlton Heston, Chuck Connors, Edward G. Robinson, and Jimmy Stewart are just some of the stars I have seen in the last two years.

And the sets I have seen in the same time period are just as impressive… from the ancient past or the distant future… they are created for every mood and occasion.

I am strategically hidden most of the time, by a bush or a wall, but always just out of frame. I’m not famous… yet, to anyone who knows me, I’m… Almost Famous!

All stories written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by DQ

At Desilu, finishing touches are being added to the south western community, built solely for this film, called The Fortune. Mike Nichols is the director. This set has taken many months to build, and is located on the footprint of Stalag 13, exactly where the iconic camp used to stand.

The same construction crew that built this village also helped us earlier with the cantina fort that had a rotted ladder. They were kind enough to build us a new one!

Today I’m gathering information on this production. The film stars Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson. To remain hidden, yet still see the set, we determine that a large grassy hilltop will give us the best advantage. It is impossible to get caught here, even if we’re seen, since we can run in any direction and hiding places are abundant. Like some Vietnam set.

This hilltop has very deep grass, tall trees, sand-paper plants, ohh… and sprinklers. We find where the spinkler system turns on, a major plus when it’s hot out.

This is a man-made hill top. The grass is so deep in certain spots, that we spring over it like leaping deer. Otherwise you just sink underneath it. On one leap, after ascending to my highest peak, I sink to my lowest low, I completely disappear…literally!

This hill has swallowed me whole. I land 15 feet inside it, on my rear end, in some enormous cavern. Jimmy turns around and I’m no where to be found. We were just speaking a minute ago. Poof …no more.

I now realize that this grass we play on sits on top of a wooden rotting structure and this entire place is fabricated. This garden of eden set “above” is supported by a frames that severely rotted termite infested wood. I’m stuck below the surface and “I can’t get out!”

Tree roots dangle above me, back-lit only by the hole that my body just punched. The underbelly of this organic studio prop has gobbled me into its version of studio hell. Heaven above, hell below…

The grass fixes itself like nothing happened. I barely see light. Jimmy has no idea about my dilemma or where I went. This sucks!

I shout for Jimmy relentlessly… but to no avail. I would not be surprised if I find skeletons down here from other missing kids.

I have no way to climb out. I’m in quite a predictament. Finally, Jimmy hears my shouts, but helping me will require a rope and he himself could fall in if this collapses any more. He talks into a hole in the earth, which is where I’m located.

We decide to ask for help from the people preparing The Fortune set. Jimmy enlists men with tools, ropes and ladders, who are more than willing to help. I sit in silence, in my hole. Dirt begins to fall inside from an already weak ceiling.

That’s just great, I think, as I wonder my fate. Mom always tell me, “Be careful Donnie!” Now look at me.

I hear lots of talking… Jimmy has recruited a small army to rescue me. The show stops preparing the movie set village for filming and shifts its focus to help me.

Finally, my tiny hole has been discerned. A man with a helmet and harness on… and a flashlight, stares inside. I say “Hello.”

“Oh… it’s you,” as men gather above and laugh downwards. Next, Bam! Down comes an extension ladder and up pops a teenager. I climb out and see that everyone on the set was dialed in to my rescue… I exit to a slight applause.

Studio transportation has a crew cab parked down below, they brought the ladder over. They have all seen me here before. They remember me filming my movie on western street, a few months back. Heck, it was their rolling phone that we used daily at my old saloon fort… to cast women and order pizza. I’m like crew.

Some of these guys, like Charlie, the Manson look-a-like, and me, have even gotten high together. I am handed an ice cold Hawaiian Punch by a pony-tailed Teamster. We all have a real good laugh and go back to our business.

The crew goes back to being a film crew and I go back to being me…

It took a village for this rescue… a studio village.

I feel… Almost Famous.

Above: Base of hill that I disappeared into.

The road in the above picture is located at the base of the my hilltop…

Below: This is where that road ends up… it was once the site of Stalag 13…

Now this road drops you off at the set for Warren Beatty’s latest show… The Fortune (below)

Below: View from the top of this hill, facing Baldwin Hills.

Written and lived by Donnie Norden..