Author: Phantom of the Backlot

I have been dying to show Maureen our new hangout…the caretakers house. I cased the joint again right after school, just to make sure I can still make entry. Seeing the window is just slightly ajar, it looks exactly how Jimmy and I left it.

Our house below…

Tonight, is date night, Maureen and I will have a picnic supper inside this really nice house we just inherited…

Our school pictures below…Maureen on the left, Donnie on the right.

Sure, we have no furnishings yet, but we’re  just a young couple starting out. All our utility bills seem paid, everything works, that’s most important. So it’s time to just relax with my girl- friend- buddy- pal.

I’m not in the mood to be chased or hunted tonight. I just want to show this super foxy chic just how cool she really is!

Lots of older guys hit on my girlfriend and some even offer her rides in their fancy cars, I’ve seen it attempted. She always says (No)!

I’m telling you, there is (no one) I would rather share a fox hole with. She’s got my back!

We have packed a basket full of goodies. Peanut butter and and jelly sandwiches will be the main entree. I snuck 2 of my dads cheap beers out from his fridge.

I have my own fridge now, it’s just empty at the moment. Maureen and I may cook next time…it’s doable, we soon will both agree. I brought some Hershey’s Kisses for later, always thinking ahead!

But what I most look forward to is making popcorn. I have Jiffy-Pop hidden under a cloth in the picnic basket. This table cloth is hiding an assortment of, girly things, such as a red rose, Hershey’s Kisses, and reading material…

No BB guns or buck knives, tonight.

I will share the surprise items with her as soon as we unpack. We have a cassette player, I checked that box before leaving home. It has a two-hour tape. One side is Led Zeppelin and the other side is Steely Dan and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

All that is left to do now is to go through a hole in the fence. I just made it earlier this afternoon. Impossible to see from the inside due to shrubs, it is hardly noticeable when walking down the public street…outside.

My guess, it will last us a couple weeks until it’s found and fixed. I only need it tonight, anyhow.

I already know this girl can climb with the best of them. Fearless, I call her!… She has nothing left to prove. She was trained well. But tonight, she won’t have to climb.

I will do all the dirty work this evening, cut her a hole in the fence, fall through a window and be as smooth as Chevy Chase as I open the front door. I will then escort her and our picnic basket inside, across the threshold.

All goes accordingly, and as we tour our new home together.

Press play…Graham Nash

Her expressions are of surprise and amazement. She asks, while looking around, “Where are the bedrooms”…”Great question”… I quickly respond. I pick up the picnic basket and say “Follow me…I’m one step ahead of you”

We excitedly run up the stairs. We have the pick of two bedrooms that both look over a vast expanse of the backlot. We settle down in the one that we feel has the best view.

Summer is about to start, the tall eucalyptus trees are throwing long dark shadows on the Bewitchin’ Pool below us. We can see the Bavarian village that Young Frankenstein recently finished filming on, off in the distance. The towers and irregular rooftops look like layers on top of a cake. The pictures we see through our windows appear like album covers. Everything is extra groovy tonight.

The Ford Bronco even makes a courtesy drive by, slowly, on the dirt road behind us. We can’t quite tell who the lonely guard is tonight.

The setting sun casts a bright orange hew on the distant Bavarian village. It’s  still painted exactly as it was in that film.

An Art Director couldn’t ask for more of a scenic atmosphere or background.

Maureen begins to unpack our basket as I fiddle with the radio/ cassette player.

“A candle”… Maureen asks?

“Yes, it will be dark soon, it’s a very small candle don’t worry” I sheepishly speak and smile simultaneously…”Oh, I’m not worried, just asking,” she adds.

“Ooohhh, nice pick, this looks like a good MAD magazine!” she begins to get excited…

“Popcorn?” her next question, as she holds it by the wire handle…”how will we pop this?”

“Downstairs, on our new oven top” I remind her. She turns all smiles and giggles and says “Let’s do it!”

My heart flutters

“Let’s make popcorn!” she says!

“Sure…sure Popcorn, yes, Popcorn,” of course, as I realize what she meant! 

Downstairs, we pop corn as Steely Dan plays…“Reelin in the Years.”

Back upstairs, in our master bedroom, we share an apple. Then a jelly sandwich. The moon, in a crescent shape, is beginning to rise.

“This is the time the owls come out to hunt… let’s just listen to nothing for a bit.” She agrees… moments later, two owls swoosh, screech and dive in the field in front of us. Silhouetted against what is now a very dark blue sky.

Well that is as romantic as it gets I think to myself, watching owls hunt!

So out break the Hershey’s Kisses and we stick one in each others mouth…. like any grown up couple would do.

We lay down on the magically carpeted floor together, just as the moon peaks inside our bedroom window with its romantic blue tones. The leaves on the trees are blowing in a gentle breeze, I hit play on the cassette tape deck again…

Our mouths bask in chocolate…but our ears bask in the music.

Stairway to Heaven begins to play as only Stairway to Heaven can play…perfectly!

We crack open two Burgermeisters to toast this event. Our favorite song helps begin our first evening in our new pad.

Cheers Maureen, your the best side kick a fella can have…

Thanks MGM, everything’s sensational, as usual.

This is the type a moment that you wish never ends!

A Stairway to Heaven really exists in MGM 

Written and lived by Donnie Norden and Maureen Miller

Having been captured recently by Big George, I knew it would just be a matter of time before this day would happen… Today is that day.

As Jimmy and I ride our bikes around MGM today after school, we head down Overland. It is the street that separates the front lot from the backlot. We are on the Lot 2 side and naturally we check to see who is working the guard shack over on the Lot 1 side of the street.

If it’s friend we will cross the street to visit. If it’s a foe, as it appears it is, we will just mostly ride on the backlot side, just looking inside the fence.

We see Les Green across the street, we consider him dangerous since he would love to catch me. Frankly, he is too old. So we ignore him and really don’t consider him a threat.

Lester…pictured below… in the West Gate shack.

Doing just that, staying focused on our side, I hear him shout over top of the few cars going down Overland. We turn our heads, Jimmy and I, as we stop pedaling. Les is as animated as I have ever seen him. He is standing outside the gate and is on of the dirt sidewalk beyond the guard shack. His arms are waving as he continues to shout, he has something clenched is his hand…some papers.

Les looks like he’s trying to get a star’s autograph with his paper in hand …jumping in the air… waving. It’s like I’m Elvis Presley or Gene Kelly…I quickly process this strange image…

I can hear now and as the traffic stops for a moment, he is shouting at me- particlarly me, not Jimmy. “We gotcha, we got everything,… your house… your phone number, and your name!”

We sit and stare but quickly we jaywalk over to him, we all meet at the West Gate guard shack. He proudly hands it to me, “Read it and weep” he says. “This is fresh from the press, it just got dropped off by my Captain”

It is 5 pages and quickly realize I know almost everyone on it, I sit myself down inside his shack while taking this all in… Jimmy crams in next to me and my spinning stool seat. We read slowly, we may never see this paper again. I’m flattered I mean so much to them. I was just caught a month ago so they revised this whole thing…. just because I’m on it.

Les stands outside his own shack as we box him out. We go over each and every name and who captured each trespasser. We see who is worth their salt in security…naturally Big George seems to be MGM’s Top Dog!

Al Black and Bob Trigger Happy Coleman are next in line. Bob takes them… dead or alive…we chuckle.  We have been here awhile and are barely through page 3. I look up to see Les bent over and leaning into a car window that wants to enter the lot…I quickly roll this captured list up and stick it under my sweatshirt, as I push Jimmy towards our bicycles. We silently ride off without saying… good-bye.

So now I have me this fancy list fresh off the MGM printing press. It can double as my rolodex, If I need a friend’s number, well it’s probably on this list.

Here it is Culver City…find yourself…Enjoy!

Written and lived by Donnie Norden

So far, 1974 has been magical. It picked up right where ’73 left off. TV show after TV show, movie after movie, my event calender has been very active. I barely have time to go to school…

Due to my unique and unusual hobby, I have become very popular when on campus. My English teacher and I have become very good friends. She is a very special grown up to me. She knows I’m different, and so is she. She says I remind her of her boyfriend, who she offers up to meet me. He is an inmate at a local prison…Terminal Island.

Well, I am flattered, as I accept her invitation. We agree to take a field trip after school, just me and teacher… in her two-seater 914 Porsche. Feel Flows, the Beach Boys classic, plays from her Blaupunkt radio.

As we speed cross the large green Vincent Thomas Bridge, I can see all of Long Beach in the distance. As her hair blows in the wind, Debby points, “that’s where we’re headed… that prison over there!”

We arrive on this minimum security island… All Along The Watchtower, by Jimi Hendrix pounds inside my head, as we pass underneath a real watchtower. Debby, dressed in very tight blue jeans and a tight black sweater, clears us for a visitor entry. She looks mouth watering pleasant. Once inside the facility, Terminal Island turns into Temptation Island. For most male inmates, anyway.

Inmate 13 has entered the room. A handsome all-American type that must be extremely popular in here. She introduces me to him, as then she leaves the area. I was not expecting to be alone with a prisoner.

Inmate 13, in his Orange jump suit, sits across from me. I’m wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and tennis shoes. We begin by discussing Debby, our only common ground. He asks, “so, where do you know her from?” I respond, “she is my teacher, we’re on a field trip”…

“How about you?” as I stare back at his shackled arms… “I’m her boy friend, or was, until I was extradited here!”

Our eyes lock together… a stone cold silence takes over the room, at this moment… he then continues… “I was framed and I am being charged with importing cocaine from Brazil in aerosol cans!” Well I’ll be dammed, this guy is bad ass! I think to myself… even though, everyone in here probably thinks they were framed!

I realize this is not the scared-straight moment that Debby was hoping for… I’m actually impressed by #13 in orange… friendly exchanges conclude my first ever prison experience.

This guy has it all… looks, charm, an international business, women in Brazil, a woman in Manhattan Beach… Debby… and a Federal Trial he is sure he can win, based off his extradition process being flawed. Now, he has a 14 year old fan. I see what Debby likes in him… and in me. Bad boys bad boys whatchya gonna do…

I take this experience to the Desilu backlot, as Debbie drops me off… to process this  meeting I just shared with inmate 13. I sit on the stairs under a sign that says Sing Sing Prison… Ossinings, New York

This is a maximum security prison set used in the Untouchables, that sits alone, as it towers above an isolated corner on Desilu’s back 40. I like to visit sets that pertain to my mind state… It’s cool that I have my own prison to wonder in!

Heck, I have a whole world to wonder in…

I have forts… or offices, at two major Hollywood Studios. I have produced an 8mm movie on this lot. Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson are filming a blockbuster next to my saloon, where my World Headquarters for Hole in the Wall existed.. until we were suddenly cancelled.

I recently met MGM’s most iconic and dynamic duo, Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly. I just saw Frankenstein roam the backlot. I have been on the set of Medical Center and have seen Chad Everett, up close, multiple times.

Sydney Poitier, Bill Cosby, Redd Foxx, Jack Cassidy, Broderick Crawford, Peter Lawford, Richard Roundtree, Charlton Heston, Chuck Connors, Edward G. Robinson, and Jimmy Stewart are just some of the stars I have seen in the last two years.

And the sets I have seen in the same time period are just as impressive… from the ancient past or the distant future… they are created for every mood and occasion.

I am strategically hidden most of the time, by a bush or a wall, but always just out of frame. I’m not famous… yet, to anyone who knows me, I’m… Almost Famous!

All stories written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by DQ

At Desilu, finishing touches are being added to the south western community, built solely for this film, called The Fortune. Mike Nichols is the director. This set has taken many months to build, and is located on the footprint of Stalag 13, exactly where the iconic camp used to stand.

The same construction crew that built this village also helped us earlier with the cantina fort that had a rotted ladder. They were kind enough to build us a new one!

Today I’m gathering information on this production. The film stars Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson. To remain hidden, yet still see the set, we determine that a large grassy hilltop will give us the best advantage. It is impossible to get caught here, even if we’re seen, since we can run in any direction and hiding places are abundant. Like some Vietnam set.

This hilltop has very deep grass, tall trees, sand-paper plants, ohh… and sprinklers. We find where the spinkler system turns on, a major plus when it’s hot out.

This is a man-made hill top. The grass is so deep in certain spots, that we spring over it like leaping deer. Otherwise you just sink underneath it. On one leap, after ascending to my highest peak, I sink to my lowest low, I completely disappear…literally!

This hill has swallowed me whole. I land 15 feet inside it, on my rear end, in some enormous cavern. Jimmy turns around and I’m no where to be found. We were just speaking a minute ago. Poof …no more.

I now realize that this grass we play on sits on top of a wooden rotting structure and this entire place is fabricated. This garden of eden set “above” is supported by a frames that severely rotted termite infested wood. I’m stuck below the surface and “I can’t get out!”

Tree roots dangle above me, back-lit only by the hole that my body just punched. The underbelly of this organic studio prop has gobbled me into its version of studio hell. Heaven above, hell below…

The grass fixes itself like nothing happened. I barely see light. Jimmy has no idea about my dilemma or where I went. This sucks!

I shout for Jimmy relentlessly… but to no avail. I would not be surprised if I find skeletons down here from other missing kids.

I have no way to climb out. I’m in quite a predictament. Finally, Jimmy hears my shouts, but helping me will require a rope and he himself could fall in if this collapses any more. He talks into a hole in the earth, which is where I’m located.

We decide to ask for help from the people preparing The Fortune set. Jimmy enlists men with tools, ropes and ladders, who are more than willing to help. I sit in silence, in my hole. Dirt begins to fall inside from an already weak ceiling.

That’s just great, I think, as I wonder my fate. Mom always tell me, “Be careful Donnie!” Now look at me.

I hear lots of talking… Jimmy has recruited a small army to rescue me. The show stops preparing the movie set village for filming and shifts its focus to help me.

Finally, my tiny hole has been discerned. A man with a helmet and harness on… and a flashlight, stares inside. I say “Hello.”

“Oh… it’s you,” as men gather above and laugh downwards. Next, Bam! Down comes an extension ladder and up pops a teenager. I climb out and see that everyone on the set was dialed in to my rescue… I exit to a slight applause.

Studio transportation has a crew cab parked down below, they brought the ladder over. They have all seen me here before. They remember me filming my movie on western street, a few months back. Heck, it was their rolling phone that we used daily at my old saloon fort… to cast women and order pizza. I’m like crew.

Some of these guys, like Charlie, the Manson look-a-like, and me, have even gotten high together. I am handed an ice cold Hawaiian Punch by a pony-tailed Teamster. We all have a real good laugh and go back to our business.

The crew goes back to being a film crew and I go back to being me…

It took a village for this rescue… a studio village.

I feel… Almost Famous.

Above: Base of hill that I disappeared into.

The road in the above picture is located at the base of the my hilltop…

Below: This is where that road ends up… it was once the site of Stalag 13…

Now this road drops you off at the set for Warren Beatty’s latest show… The Fortune (below)

Below: View from the top of this hill, facing Baldwin Hills.

Written and lived by Donnie Norden..

My entire life, or since I could walk without supervision anyway, I pass this old two story house almost daily. It is surrounded by a see-through chain link fence partially hidden by Oleander bushes.. Usually, a little terrier pooch runs the entire length, along side the public sidewalk, and barks at whoever is going by. It is the normal routine, for as long as I’ve ever walked this street. My dog and that dog are friends and they fraternize in between fence linkage.

Often, an old timer with his 50’s Buick in the long gated driveway is out and about also. Almost always he wears coveralls, like a care taker, a guy always ready to do something. A  pencil usually extends from his top pocket. He sometimes has a tool belt and completely reminds me of that guy in the Maple Street episode of the Twilight Zone that leaves to check on the neighbors, only to be shot by Charlie on his return home. IT’S THAT GUY. Always doing something- kinda guy…

I’ve been on his garage roof to watch the film Shaft. It was the only spot we could see over and past the bushes that were blocking us from the star Richard Roundtree. That’s until his dog figured out we were up there and wouldn’t shut up. We had to escape little Fido and his advances by slipping through a hole in the fence to escape his endless chatter, Jimmy and I had to jump off the roof to get away as an old man shouted ” who’s out there?”… The film crew had to press pause while this racket took place, it was interfering with sound. We easily relocated by traveling through yet another hole in another fence, behind the Bewitchin’ Pool. Yes, there are many holes around here, and I know them all!   

I’ve never talked to this old man, just his dog. He has silently been going about his business for years, his yelling at us on the roof that night was the first thing we ever heard him say!

But- what is his business? How come he gets a house on the lot? Just-who is this guy?

Lately though, the dog, the car in the driveway, and the old man and woman that live inside are all missing. I watched this backlot family grow old. Walking, skating, or bicycling, I constantly pass this house, including every day on the way to school. It’s located just behind Esther William’s swimming pool set. The colonial mansion is the closest MGM facade to this real life home. It has complete access to the backlot since it is in the backlot…but this structure is a real home!

Myself along with all my MGM trespass buddies realize this would be a nice addition to our ever growing studio resources, if it’s available, as it appears it is.

Jimmy and I begin reconnaissance of this area, carefully of course. Trespassing is a misdemeanor but burglary, or breaking and entering is a felony!

We walk a fine line, but that’s what we do. Being young teenagers and not age 18, helps us push the envelope. If you break the law, you need to know the law… We Do!

Bushes that help frame the studio pool also conceal this caretaker house. They provide cover that allow us to get close enough to look in the windows. We see no furniture inside, this confirms what we were hoping for…it’s abandoned!  

Hoo-ray!…We nervously turn the backdoor handles, but they are locked. So too… is the front door, but luckily we find a side window is ajar. We push it open and climb inside, the one place on the backlot we have yet to explore. As we tumble inside, our fall seems softened, we happily realize that this place has wall to wall carpet. Jimmy and my eyes light up, as if it’s a magic carpet. Take us for a ride Mr Carpet.

Steppenwolf : take it from here…

We fly to the kitchen first and a refrigerator exists empty, with an old box of Arm and Hammer inside…yet, it’s on. We have power,.. this keeps on getting better, the kitchen sink has hot and cold running water. This fridge will allow storage of movie caterer’s food. Something we needed.

Answers are being provided to the questions stuck in my mind for years, this is the coolest house on the planet earth.

Next we go upstairs where three bedrooms exist, the windows look out over the pool set and all the way to the Bavarian village just used by Young Frankenstein. What a spot, it’s better than Maureen’s bedroom view. We turn the glass door knob and enter the bathroom, the toilet flushes and the shower works.

Everthing has carpet except the kitchen, the stairs have carpet going up to two upstairs, carpeted bedrooms. We have two working bathrooms, one on each floor.

Jimmy and I smile at each other, saying nothing, but thinking …everything!

We scored, an entire house, nicer than my folks place!

Carefully, we cover our tracks, going back down stairs, keeping the doors locked as we exit through the same window that we climbed in. We shut everything so it appears secured.

We leave this place the way we found it. We are so excited, full amenities, carpets, power, water, gas, and phone jacks. We will find a phone to plug in later, that’s easy…just a hot jack with tip and ring connections. A television can be watched inside here also. I have one-with rabbit ears. I’m just going home to pack my bags, I’m moving out- from Huron avenue to Arizona street.

I can’t wait to tell Maureen…”Honey, we are moving up in the world!” 

Why don’t you come with me little girl… On a magic carpet ride!

Written and lived by Donnie Norden

3 P.M- as the school bell rings…

After school finally ends today, Gerald and I find ourselves racing our bicycles around the outskirts of the MGM Lots. Our homework always starts with what we may have missed during long tedious school days. Time to cut loose in this Adventureland.

 Friendly officers usually habitat these guard shacks at every entrance. Usually, these studio police officers stationed inside these boxes are polished in public relations. They don’t wear side arms, they greet you with a smile and get around the lot with an electric cart. I can easily out run these carts.

That differs from the nose to the grind stone approach that I deal with daily across the street on the backlot… it is like when Central Casting picks different characters for different roles. The men assigned to this detail are equipped with pistols and a 4 wheel drive Ford Bronco. Inside the jeep is a CB radio so reinforcements can be found quickly.

The security in a box guards are much cooler than the patrol officers, and we really appreciate and utilize, their kindness. As we talk to them, we look over their shoulder for valuable studio information, posted all over the interior of these ancient shacks.

Above: MGM’s East Gate

Today, at MGM’s East Gate, the legendary Ken Hollywood is on duty. We roll up and we  immediately feel at home as we realize just who is on duty…

He pulls out two pieces of paper and hands them to Gerald and I. Gerald is turning into my apprentice, a little me. He watches my methods and copies my approach to info gathering.

Ken Hollywood says to us, “two guys are coming out any minute and you will want their autographs.” He leaves it at that as people come and go at the studio’s main entrance and we chat with Ken… waiting for these somebuddy’s…

Minutes pass and a Rolls Royce slowly pulls up to the stop sign next to the guard shack. Ken nods to the driver. Right then Gerald and I realize who this somebuddy is… Fred Astaire!

He looks so dignified and classy behind the steering wheel, just like a scene from his movies. He stops as he sees us walk towards his driver side window. “Hello Fred,” I say, as his power window touches down. He nods, seeing the paper and pencil coming towards him and graciously accepts our autograph request.

We stand silently as he signs two different copies. We thank him and I shake his hand as he tips his hat. I am in awe, and speechless, as he smiles and says goodbye and rolls off  gently into the sunset.

A wow moment… catch my breath!… I just met MGM’s biggest icon!

I realize I was not prepared with any questions since I was caught off guard… I am still not sure who the next somebuddy is going to be…

I’m floating on a cloud as an old Impala comes towards this same exit. I ignore this car since it is not eye-catching fancy, and I face Ken in his shack. Ken dips his head, as if to say “turn around!”

I look again and the somebuddy inside that Impala is none other than Gene Kelly. My heart flutters…

I love everything about him… I’ve seen all his movies so I am ready to ask some questions. As God would have it, Gene sees our pencil and paper and says, “let me pullover,” and he does. He stops out front of MGM’s main headquarters, the Irving Thalberg building.

He gets out and leans against his car, seemingly in no hurry at all. He signs as I ask my first question… “Mr Kelly, what was your favorite movie you ever did?” “Well”, as he hands me my paper that now has two of Hollywood’s biggest icons names attached, “I am going to surprise you, it’s not a musical.” And he pauses…

In my head, I quickly run through his catalogue… which movies are not musicals? I have to pick between Pay or Die, made in 1950, or is it… And just as I am about to say the right answer, he says, The Three Musketeers!

I say “you were fantastic in that! It appeared that the sword was attached to your hand! You are so athletic… dancers are great athletes!”

Gene responds…”I love baseball, I’m a Pittsburgh Pirates fan. I would have played minor league ball, but one thing led to another and here I am.” Gene shrugs his shoulders and smiles…

I am thinking as he speaks… I just saw him on Johnny Carson, and it came up that women around the world propose to him constantly… women he does not even know… I can see why.

I am admiring his prescence… his persona is so cool, calm and collected…

“Gene,” I now feel like he is my pal and so I call him by his first name… “I loved It’s Always Fair Weather (1955), especially when you danced with those huge trash can lids on your shoes”…

“Funny you say that, it was actually a very trying number, due to the size of those lids, and the three of us had to be in sync. Michael Kidd did a wonderful job choreographing that dance sequence.”

I continue on, “Me and my friends often sneak into the backlot and recreate your dances exactly where you performed them.” “We copy your Singing in the Rain number, or try to… singing and dancing with umbrellas when it actually rains” …sheepishly, I smile, as I look at the ground… “well, mostly we just splash in the puddles, just trying to sing and dance like you.”

As Gene hears this, he begins to smile affectionately, as only he can with that big broad legendary smile… we shake hands and bid each other a fond farewell…

I am on cloud 9… I just met two of MGM’s biggest stars ever… Gerald and I race home… I tell my mom and show her these autographs. She is speechless, then says, “How do you do this?”

“I smile.” She knows…

I did not wash my hands… literally, for one week, at least!…and…Lot 2 will never be the same again, I belong here, I cherish being able to amuse myself, recreating famous scenes, meeting iconic legends, exactly where these scenes were performed… years and  even decades before… 

Written and lived by Donnie Norden…

This evening arrives in the blink of an eye… the last three weeks of building, decorating, painting, electrical rigging, and pre-lighting have just concluded. Filming is about to commence on this old backlot.

My mom made me an early dinner tonight as I excitedly enlighten her on my latest MGM adventure. I warn her I may be coming home real late all this week, due to the fact that all the filming takes place at night… “it’s a Frankenstein movie, mom… directed by Mel Brooks…. I’ll be safe, I promise,” beating her to her favorite line, which I hear every time I walk out the front door.

At this very moment, the rotary phone next to the dinner table rings. I grab the reciever and stick it next to my head. It’s Maureen, my girlfriend. Her enthusiasm can’t be contained by the phone line. No hellos. Just… “Get over here!” Then, she managed to blurt out “they’re filming at the train station across the street… lights are shining in every direction.” Barely breathing, she continues, “my whole bedroom is lit up”…

“On my way,” as I finish off my glass of double scooped Ovaltine, grabbing my skateboard…

I’m hauling ass, as fast as one leg can pump, on this chilly evening. As I round the corner, I can see that the studio is lit up like a rocket launch. I arrive in literally seconds at Maureen’s front door, and I just barge in. She is standing on her bed, as I join her.

Together, we can see one side of the trains that are parked alongside the station’s platform. Thick steam is clouding our vision; it is artificial, being created by special effects. It protrudes above and beyond the studio fence.

This moment is magical. This old edifice has been transformed… like it took a sip from a fountain of youth. Movies such as The Band Wagon and The Brothers Grimm have captured this set with class and dignity, but tonight, Young Frankenstein will add to this train depot’s long list of credits.

Maureen and I now find ourselves in the same situation we were in just a few weeks ago—jumping up and down on her bed… like a couple of pogo sticks, watching The Phantom film… Maureen has the coolest bedroom window, ever!

We know that the higher we can jump, the farther we can see… albeit, very briefly. We get quick mental snapshots as we teeter up and down. I go up as she goes down. We can hear a director’s commands on a megaphone, which we gather is Mel Brooks.

Her bed has become a complete mess. It is nighttime and everyone can see us do this alternating, hodge podge dance, with each jump… the crew can see our heads bobbing up and down. We see them in flashes as they see us.

I’m getting exhausted already, yet the company is still setting up this first shot. The exhilaration of jumping is intoxicating. I wonder what actors may see us as we continue to bounce, giggle and laugh. We turn off her bedroom lights and now her room is indirectly lit by the same lighting that is capturing scenes from across the street.

Next, I grab a ladder that is in her laundry room and we head to the train tracks across the street… we can see through windows at the depot, as we share a seat atop this ladder. We can hardly believe it… “Is that Gene Wilder?” We squint our eyes… trying to see through the steam… “There he is!… he’s rehearsing with Madeline Kahn.” We can’t hear the actors’ lines, but we see their every move, including Gene’s, as he boards the train to Transylvania.

Bronco Bob is the guard on duty, as is Big George. MGM has its heavies securing this station. MGM knows we operate from this depot. We are not hiding, since we are not trespassing, at the moment… Bob’s short stocky build is recognizable, even in the fog… He sees us and waddles over…  He says to us, “you two better stay outta here or you’re going to jail!” I respond, “can’t you just say hello, and be a bit nicer? I have a pretty girl with me,” I say, rather sarcastically… “the last thing we would do is intrude on your watch… leave us alone!”

Bob snarls and mumbles and right before he disappears from our view, I shout with my ego inflamed, “you can’t out run either one of us, anyway… even if we do pop over!” What a buzz kill this guy is.

Above: The scenes we are seeing filmed, on this night…

On the next night, the train station is dark. Quite a contrast from last night. But over at Boystown, the lights are strong enough to bounce off the moon and back. Gerald wants to go with me tonight and I oblige him.

We are determining if we can get past the web of security that George and Bob create and so, we take it all in from our Boystown fort. Set lighting equipment is lit up at the Transylvania station set as we arrive. We will watch this scene, from the colonial mansion, a couple hundred yards away.

This train depot, with steam and fog, created by special effects, is the center of attention at the moment. We see Marty Feldman, “Igor,” greet Gene Wilder, “Dr. Frankenstein,” as he arrives. Everyone laughs as take after take is shot and reshot. The actors are having a tough time keeping a straight face, as everyone on set laughs at their difficulty…

Below: Sequence of photos showing Dr. Frankenstein arriving at Transylvania station

Introduction to Igor

“My name is … Igor”

“I am a rather brilliant sugeon and I can fix that hump,” says Dr Frankenstein.
“What Hump?” responds Igor…

Above: Special effects creates interesting lighting. It’s an old trick that requires creating a “dead short” in an arc lamp. Special Effects and Set Lighting work together for this scene.

A roll in the hay… who could resist Teri Garr?

The whole scroll Above: All the scenes shot on this chilly evening…

Next evening… The actors are rehearsing at the cemetery below Boystown. Special efffects sets up a rain bar. A fire hose is attached to an aluminum manifold controlled by valves; that’s basically how this device works… It’s like a big sprinkler system. Rain can be controlled with this apparatus. A high pressure hose attaches to a water truck.

We overlook the set by climbing up to the top off my Boystown fort…

We are now in our familiar surroundings, yet my secret hiding place is now the center of the universe. Light comes through every crack, hole and slot… we are directly above a grave plot with a pile of dirt alongside it. A coffin sits between some grave stones and the rain bar sits above this gated cemetery and plot.

Gerald and I sit above all of this, like we are looking down from the stars above. Just watching as we wonder what scene is being set up next… We are in our sanctuary overlooking a haunted paradise.

As usual, I share this experience with two wise old owls. I love these two horned beings. I wish they could talk and tell me what all they have seen in this old backlot…

What we see is of course in color, yet this film we are told, will be in black and white. Just like the Boris Karloff original.

Igor and Dr. Frankenstein continue rehearsing a grave robbery. We sit 40 feet above this grave sequence, and after this coffin is exhumed, Dr. Frankenstein is disgusted with himself for stealing this cadaver. Igor then shows a bit of humility by saying, “it could be worse… it could be raining!”

On that queue, Effects creates a deluge on the cemetery. We take this all in, from above the rain, like the God Thor!

Lightning flashes, as wind blows on command… giant fan blades, like airplane propellors, which run on DC, silently churn the rain into powerful gusts of wind, to add intensity. We are so close, but we have to muffle our laughs as this hysterical scene takes place… in living color. Right before our astonished eyes…

This scene needed to be rehearsed to perfection… since the rain will immediately change a dry cemetery to an unworkable wet set. The scene needs to work as a dry-to-wet sequence

Above and Below: These are all the scenes shot that night, right below my fort…

“It could be worse” Igor points out.. “It could be raining!“

So far we have not seen Frankenstein, but I’m sure this will change.

New Night… Gerald begs to be a part of it, again. I oblige.

More tents have been set up for tonight, as many extras will be needed in these shots. The tents are heated and full of donuts, fruit and coffee. Costumed villagers huddle inside. George and Bob could be on the other side, but the lure of a chocolate bar is stronger than our fear at this moment, so we pull the tent flaps back and enter. The food table is located on the opposite side of this entrance, so we pass by many extras, as they talk amongst themselves about parts and shows they just did, elsewhere… It looks like some sort of gyspy camp.

“They are dressed like Bavarian Boy Scouts,”  we joke… “They should have a Saint Bernard with ’em”…

We are overhearing one extra tell another about his appearance on a new TV show, Happy Days. He was just on that set yesterday and hopes he can be a regular on this new series… this is like a movie industry coffee shop and trade show, involving all available cattle… I was up for “this” part… I was up for “that” part… Quickly, we see how egotistical this part of the movie industry seems to be, and we’re just kids…

Our eyes scan each corner of the tent… many extras are sunken into their own lounge chairs, sleeping under newspapers, with their mouths half open… In one corner of the tent, there’s a card game going on… In another corner, they are standing around, anxiously, chain-smoking, as they wait their turn for the telephone… all making their nightly call to Central Casting, hoping to lock in a part for the next day. They all wonder where their next check will come from… We take it all in.

We leave with a hand picked selection of the best donuts. We also expect a long night.  We need to get into a rooftop position while things are getting setting up. Plus, Bronco Bob and MGM’s security version of the Monster, “Big George,” would have us in a pickle if they were to walk inside here right now…

The company will now shoot many scenes in this rebuilt village… until the sun rises and kids go to school.

Below: This is the set where Frankenstein will will be hunted down by villagers carrying torches with blood hounds. It is a hard set for us to approach, due to the fact that this is a very-small, quaint village.

Above: This rooftop, over looking the center of town, will be our preferred spot to oversee everything the next few nights... We try to put together a feasible plan, but often, plan Bs must be implemented, due to unforseen events…

Above: This scene was still being filmed as I left, around 11 p.m. Still …No Monster!

Above: Frankenstein has arrived in my little village… He looks a lot like George Barner, MGM’s guard “on duty”… I peer down in amazement, as I see The Monster for the first time… I want to talk to him so bad! Peter Boyle is behind all this make-up and has a grey complexion.

Below: We watched these scenes get rehearsed and reshot, take after take, from this rooftop spot… in living color! My plan worked to perfection.

Below, the villagers unite to hunt down my favorite monster!

Above: Villagers cross a bridge that spans the Tarzan lake. That concludes this production on MGM’s Backlot 2… it was the only exterior location used in this film…

Below: A call sheet…

Above: Look Carefully at the call sheet… A “hump” for Igor! And look again, farther up… The two studio police requested on the insert are the ones that both hate me! (And the feeling is mutual!)

Next up, I meet Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly. A special once in a lifetime, memory! The show… That’s Entertainment!

Don’t change that channel…

All stories written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by DQ

I have spent the last three weeks observing, as these sets get fancied up. I have never seen the German Village look so debonair… all the bullet holes and craters have been patched or built over. A train station exists now next to Boystown, where horse stables are located. A sign greets you now… Transylvania Station.

Before Transylvania station was built on this site, stables and kennels existed. The stables are the doors behind the cage. Lassie Come Home with Liz Taylor is shown here… that show used two sets – now being used by Mel Brooks…   

A cemetery set, has been put together, in all places, below my Boystown fort. As I watch these sets get final dressing, I envision how I will position myself to view all the backlot scenes!… Like a stuntman familiarizing himself with his surroundings… before action is commanded.

This cemetery is especially enticing. I realize that the Boystown fort sits directly above these grave stones and plots. What an oppotunity! Hopefully, special effects or set lighting won’t need to be inside my fort. Special effects will have a rain scene directly above this cemetery, and just below my fort.

A grave yard robbery will be filmed on this set, above… Below, the same exact area in the 1930’s

Below, A gallows, complete with a hangman’s knotted rope, sits where the 1960 award winning movie, The Time Machine, once sat… A hanging will be happening soon 

Below, a production still shot on the set of the Time Machine (1960). Mushroom cloud shelters have been replaced by a prison with a gallows pole…

An actual Time Machine. Operated by… Yours Truly!

The modern train station is also receiving an extreme make over. Fresh coats of green paint have been added to all the trains. Pennsylvania Central is stenciled on the side of these vintage Pullman passenger cars. We climb in right behind this set, usually… but if we get rerouted, so be it. I’m just happy to see this set made over so elegantly!

MGM security has a night set watch on these hot sets, but in the daytime, they are non- existent. It is crew only… besides me.

The countdown begins its final sprint, and all these sets are near ready. A circus sized film company arrives with all the usual stuff, star trailers, make up-wardrobe, craft service, a camera truck, stand by vans, and shuttles, etc.

They park in the open field between Boystown and German village, the most centralized and accessible spot to all locations being used. Tents sprout up like giant mushrooms, everywhere.

Two problems potentially exist for me. They always do…

One… Security is now present at all times.

Two… This film is nights only at MGM. Once again, school gets in the way of my life.

This means I can only stay until around midnight, which is when Catering serves second meal. But Friday, I’m good for an all-nighter. I already cleared it with my parents. They root for me. My mom offers her usual support, “Just be careful- Donnie!”…as she clutches her rosary beads tightly.

The show has finished all its preparation. A Base Camp now exists. Set lighting does a pre-light prior to first unit arrivals. The lot looks magical as lights are positioned in certain windows. German village has transformed itself into Transylvania.

Above: This same village in 1948… this picture is the making of The Three Musketeers… Set lighting is struggling over uneven cobblestone paving with arc lights that weigh more than they do… This same incline will have a coffin containing the Frankenstein body slip off a cart in one of the scenes that is to be shot here… The Constable will offer his hand in assistance…

Lassie Come Home… A matte painting of a factory on a hill frames this iconic village as it appeared in 1943… Lassie was produced at the height of WW2. Ironically, WW2 did not hit this village until 1962 when Combat began a war that lasted 6 years with battles easily heard from my home… 

Prelight begins… Arc lights are strategically placed. Smoke churns out from the vents on top of these 10 Kilowatt set lights. Lamp operators stand atop ladders and continue to feed this monster its diet of carbon rods. These rods react to electrical voltage and generate a blinding illumination. New rods swiftly replace used rods. Lighting technicians open and shut these lamps like a revolving door.

These men use pliers while wearing thick gloves to exhume the used rods while feeding new ones inside the cowling. The result is light as bright as sunlight. This prelight will keep unwanted surprises to a bare minimum for this production company. These arc lights are smoking monsters themselves…

Below, over two decades earlier, is the arch that greets you as you pass into this village… Frankenstein will be seduced by a violin under this exact arch…

Like the set lighting crew, I too have prepared as much as possible… going over different scenarios I may run into. I also dislike unwanted surprises… Mel Brooks and I share that common thread on this set.

Tommorow… 5 pm shooting call times… stay tuned!

All stories written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by DQ

It’s been raining hard the last couple of days. Today is no exception. Things have been relatively easy at my new, public junior high, since I already covered the same material in Catholic school. I find myself wondering about other things… things not exactly taught in the classroom, but easy to find in the schoolyard!

Drugs lurk everywhere on campus. All sorts of drugs. And the kids that deal them are older and drive fancier cars than the faculty. They are considered to be the epitome of cool. I’m intrigued.

Uppers, downers, cocaine, LSD—apparently anything goes at public school!

Sales for every drug are brisk, but the real currency of the realm here is marijuana. It’s available in an astonishing number of varieties from an equally astonishing number of places. Columbia, Hawaii, Mexico, Morocco, Pakistan, and Thailand constitute their own United Nations of weed. Among the more popular strains are Acapulco Gold, Maui Wowie, Sensimillan, and Hashish (available in either blonde or black!).

The latest craze, however, is Thai sticks. Students take them to La Ballona Creek between classes and light up. On one or two occasions I’ve gone myself. There’s a hole in the fence that serves as a makeshift “drugstore”, and usually pretty girls are in attendance.

Today the creek is unusually high because of the rain, the water choppy and dirty-looking. Two guys I don’t know know appear and proceed to burn one right next to me. All of a sudden, I have a “eureka!” moment. “I know a better place than this, no parents, no teachers, no nuthin.” “Where is it?” one of them asks.”I’ll show you. Follow me.”

Their names are Tom and Pat. Not the guys from the Doobie Brothers, but rather, just a couple of high school tokers. As we draw closer to MGM studios I can tell they’re skeptical. “This is safer?” Tom asks. “Yeah!” I answer enthusiastically. “I can show you around the backlot and I can teach you about movie biz stuff!” Now they were sold. Their eyes brightened. They are ready to trespass.

The rain clouds haven’t gone anywhere, but that’s perfect for what we’re about to do. “I wanna try your Thai stick when we get inside,” I say casually. “For sure,” says Pat, nodding, already a little stoned. I promise myself I’ll confine this adventure to a simple one-set visit, because, well, these guys are carrying drugs!

We climb in just out of view by the caretaker’s house, which has a chain link fence, or as I like to think of it, a climbing fence for beginners. The rain keeps up as we run 20 yards to the back of the colonial mansion and race up to the second floor. By luck, I’d already equipped the spot with rocking chairs and a bench, so it’s cozy. Opening the curtains and looking out, I’m struck by the view of the formal garden.

This view is where we climb in to run to my mansion, below…

Above: We are in the mansion, top right window.
Below: View of garden

Below, “my” mansion…it has a Bewitchin Pool adjacent to it…

If ever a song fit, Joe Cocker nails it…

My new friends are older and cooler than I am, but I’m impressing them, just the same. They’re really digging “my” mansion! I delivered my goods, the sanctuary of this movie lot… now it’s their turn. 

Tom breaks out an AM/FM radio and Pat produces a bag of Thai sticks. They’re long with pot wrapped around them and a string to hold it all together. There’s also a fine brown powder coating it, which guys inform me is opium!

I hear the sexy guitar of Hendrix’s “Angel.” The velvety tones are slithering around me. No one will hear us because of the rain, so I advise Tom to turn it up. Then we begin to smoke. A peacepipe full of the Thai weed is passed around again and again.

I sink back into one of the rocking chairs. I feel as if I’m a candle slowly melting. I’m seduced by the wonderful aroma and sensational music. This is a groovy moment! We’ve successfully turned the mansion into an opium den. Smoke clouds hang everywhere, occasionally taking the shape of friendly spirits. I melt still deeper into my chair, arriving at a place of profound relaxation. This isn’t my first time getting high but it the first time I’ve gotten this high.

Zeppelin’s Rain Song fills the darkening sky, as I take another hit from the pipe. It’s only 4pm, but the sky is almost black. When I spot the headlights of two tractor-trailers driving into the German Village, it doesn’t faze me. I’m confident the trucks are a benign presence. When they finally park, I see the broad side of the trailers emblazoned with the familiar 20th Century Fox logo.

I see that the trailers are being disconnected from their tractors. The landing gear drops next and a van unloads a handful of production guys onto the cobblestone street. I’m still high, but not so much that I can’t tell that some new production is firing up..

A TV movie, The Phantom of Hollywood, just used this location and the European village has sustained extensive combat damage. Desperate to know more, I bid Tom and Pat a quick goodbye… “Just exit the way you came in!… Good luck!” With that, I race down the stairs en route to the backside of the German Village, as I leave Cheech and Chong in their clouds of smoke.

Inside one of the buildings, a bright worklight illuminates the group of men talking and pointing at other buildings in the town.

Compelled by a much stronger force than my fear of getting caught, I had to know what was up, so I walk inside and see blueprints on the table. “Hi!” I say. “What are you setting up for?” They look me over, and nobody says beans about what I’m doing there. “The entire street is a rebuild,” a bearded man tells me. “It needs to look like Transylvania. Gonna be a Mel Brooks film.”

Wow! I just saw Blazzing Saddles with Maureen, and loved it, so I was ecstatic to learn that this crew was the same that worked on it. The bearded guy continues to fill me in: “They shoot in three weeks. It’s called Young Frankenstein I think. Production will use several sets but this street will get most of the attention. It needs a big face lift!”

I think to myself “No way! Is the Phantom going to meet his favorite Monster of all time?” I’m so into Frankenstein, I even like to watch The Munsters.

“Did any of you see The Phantom of Hollywood TV movie that just aired last week?” I ask the room. “It was filmed all over this lot, including this street!”

“Are you The Phantom?” one of them snickered…

If they weren’t sure about me being a trespasser, they were now. I look too young. I’m by myself. I’m way too enthusiastic. But no one seems to care much. This is Hollywood, where everybody is happy all the time. I smile at everyone as I walk out, leaving them with a last word of advice…

“Strange things really do happen around here,” I say.

On my way home, I wondered about stuff. I do a lot of that lately. 

I wonder about everything these days… girls, of course… having my first girlfriend, I have a handle on that thought already. I’m sure all girls are exactly the same. No problem there!… I wonder about my career path… I know it must involve these studios… I wonder if I will be drafted. Vietnam luckily just ended… I wonder if I can play pro football, like Joe Namath. No one around here throws a better spiral… I wonder about being a policeman, maybe… I like playing with weapons… I wonder why drugs are at every party I go to… what exactly do they do?… I wonder about being older and having my driver’s license because I want a Corvette… I wonder why so many rockstars are dying so young… I wonder why I get turned on by my English teacher, while she’s standing side ways at the chalk board… the lovely Mrs. Z. I wonder about all this wondering!

I’ll be keeping an eye on this Transylvania set… build, prep and shoot… Stay tuned!

All stories written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by Eddie Mullins & DQ

I ride around the outside of MGM constantly, always doing my due dilligence. Since I have now been captured, I’m a bit gun-shy. I was told by Captain Jolly, head of MGM security, I would end up in jail if I fail to comply. I now save trespasses for cool stuff, so when filming takes place, I will punch that ticket. Even this speck of compliance will eventually diminish, I’m sure.

Probably sooner than later because I have just obtained a shooting schedule indicating that a made for TV movie, with the working title of The Phantom of Lot 2, is in production.

All the studio entrances now say World Wide Studios …

It is being directed by my hero, Gene Levitt, who produced Combat on these same MGM backlots. I still play in the craters and bombed out villages desolated by that TV series. The same show whose gunfire I could hear all day long at my house. Combat was my inspiration!

I had to see what really takes place behind the studio fences. I had to see the devastation. What is this place that plays war with real army stuff all day long? It will be an honor to sneak onto his set. So much for compliance.

The amazing thing about this Phantom of Lot 2 show are the similarities to my own “shenanigans” taking place right now, on these back lots. We watch, as the show starts with two teenagers who look like dead ringers for me and Jimmy! They climb into MGM exactly where we climb in, right across the street from Maureen, my girlfriend, and her bedroom. Her window looks directly at this scene from across the way. We continue to watch, as we stand on her bed, peering out of the top of her bedroom window, which is practically in the framed shot. We joke in amazement, “look at those guys, they look like us!”

MGM often positions a guard at exactly this spot because they know this is our frequent entry point. (And that’s because it’s a sling shot away from our houses). And yes, we often fire sling shots at the Bronco when it parks right there…

It gets stranger. There is a a building that a teenager falls and dies from. It’s Boystown, my fort, which was recently involved in a huge police search involving me.

Readers, please read Right Place Wrong Time from a previous post, for reference.

Check this out… The teenagers in this show begin their trespass at the same place where we sneak in… regularly. They look like us. These teen age- long haired  punks as Broderick Crawford call us die falling from the top of Boystown, where my fort exists. I am nicknamed the Phantom by MGM security… “Here one minute, gone the next,” they say… So, I already had the nickname. I reckon the show is all about me!

This lot is only big enough for one Phantom… Me!

World Wide Security wants this rogue individual much in the same way MGM wants me. It is the focus of this show and parallels my own reality on these Hollywood Lots. Who better than Broderick Crawford, former star of the television series The Highway Patrol to play head of security? Rough and gruff, he reminds me of my dad. I’m glad he is not the one in charge here, for real.

Set decorations are actually attempting to make all their sets more dilapidated than they actually are, as if this old place is no longer a major player in movies and TV.

The reality is that the future would have plenty of huge blockbuster movies ahead… 

Scenes with wind machines blow dust in the background to emphasize desolation and abandonment. The back lot now gives the impression that it’s only fit for phantoms.

In another scene… Me and Maureen’s old row boat… making its last TV appearance

After school, I immediately go to the back lot to catch up with this film. I start by peeking through holes in the fence to figure out what sets are in use today. That way, I can sneak in, yet not have to cross vast open expanses. Since my capture, efficiency is priority number one.

This Friday afternoon, I’m doing just that… I’m outside the lot, casing the joint on my bike, peering in at times, at every crack and hole. I’m on the corner of Montana and Midway, in the residential neighborhood just beyond the fence. I look up and at exactly the spot where I hit Big George with lemons, just months before, I see the Phantom!

And he is looking at me. He is filming, 10 feet away, in full costume, with his metal spiked weapon in hand. He just killed a man who was involved with tearing down Lot 2.

We stare in amazement at each other. He is masked, but I know it’s Jack Cassidy. I’m excited, as well as flabbergasted. It seems so surreal. He waves with his non-weapon hand. I could not be closer if I was on the lot. I wave back!

I like the fact that his goal is to protect these sets from decimation. I try to do the same thing. He refuses to let this place die. Like me.

My view from the fence, as The Phantom attacks the man on top of this stairway

Nightime brings out a different energy on this grand play ground

Care to enter? …Please shut the gate behind you

Make yourself comfortable, you’re in a special place that warps time… sugar plum ferries live under this bridge, so they say!

Below, The Phantom protecting his castle

Below, If this worklight could talk, the stories it could tell…somehow, it ended up at my house.

Below,  I’ve seen this pose before!

Spirits do exist in the night here, all night… just let them run through you…

Nightime is mysterious, but yet magical on the backlot. Like sparks rising from a wood fire into the night sky, spirits seem to rise up out of the cobblestones themselves… These spirits aren’t scary, so don’t be afraid. Just let them be the spirits they are. I often come here by myself, but I’m never alone. Louis B. Mayer himself walked these pathways… Scarlett O’Hara and Clark Cable emerge from the deep south… Judy Garland sings clang clang clang went the trolley… A caped Rudolph Valentino drinks wine while serenading ladies from balconies… costumed acrobats skip and cartwheel about… French waiters and can-can dancers and the sound of accordions bring Parisian villages to life… Gypsies, tramps and thieves band together, while fog camouflages their movements. The smell of incense fills the air. I visit beings that only reveal themselves on their terms. Not everyone will see them, but ohhh how they exist…

Whether you were a larger than life movie star, a famous director, a movie mogul, such as Louie B. Mayer, or a bottom of the barrel security guard, we are all welcome here. We are all kindred spirits. We all share the same passions… that’s why we’re here. And these backlots are truly the stars, anyway. We’re just guests here. All these ghosts will tell you that. No egos allowed at this party…

Doors open and close all around us, by themselves. Spirits dance whimsically about…  curtains blow with no wind and windows suddenly shut… it just happens. Don’t be afraid. Owls hoot endlessly, making music for us, as the moon shines through the windows of hollow buidings. Bull frogs croak with joy. Nothing is real, yet everything is real, its all perspective…

All these wonderful entities are celebrating both the past with the present, amongst these deserted cities of the heart. I am suddenly struck by a need to keep this legacy alive…  Stories for future generations to share… stories that celluloid can only capture visually. Yes… a passing of a torch will happen… The spirits were waiting for someone like me to carry it on.

Somewhere in my bones, I decide… right then and there, that these stories—stories from people who lived, worked and dreamed inside the boundaries of the backlots—shall live on… 

Spirits will let you exist in their inner magical circle, and in my case, help me escape capture, so that I can be with them,… so I, too, can experience this wonderful place. I draw on these spirits when I’m boxed into a tight situation, like when I’m outrunning security or police… Or, like the chimney escape that I relayed most recently, when I got away, against all odds. They grab my hand invisibly, and lead me to safety.

My passion for this movie studio is as deep as the passion that exists within these magical flying embers that surround me, like a bunch of happy fireflies…

It’s like I’ve been here before, in another carriage… Your spirit will never die, if you wish to believe. No one can take it… it’s yours forever. So, dance, drink and be merry, with all the spirits in the night… just like that ride at Pirates of the Carribean.

Life is a one take affair, all or nothing… so don’t blow it!

I truly feel the TV Phantoms’ frustration, as the developers start knocking down the sets.

Every picture tells the story…

Below, I myself have experienced running along these catwalks…

In scenes to follow, all over the backlot, especially on New York street, the chase by security and the local police takes place. They must capture him. The TV phantom kills a tractor operator with an arrow, at the base of the Great Wall of China set. I watch from the Montana Lot, where the crew parks, as the chase along the catwalks takes place. It’s like I’m watching my own movie.

This accident can easily happen, it’s part of the danger of being a Phantom..

The TV Phantom is running out of time…

You will notice Febuary 12, 1974 this show first aired on TV, almost exactly 46 years to this day I now share this memory with you…

World Wide Security finally finished off this Phantom… MGM knows there is still a young Phantom laying in the weeds. This one won’t go away.

Below: Me… escaping like the Phantom of the Backlot… That’s how you do it—right way up!

My hair works as a parachute…

As this show wraps up, it will air on CBS in the upcoming weeks. I tell everyone to watch.  I walk home with a spear that is fake, but looks so real. I found it at the graveyard (shown below) that this show put together, alongside Tarzan’s Lake. I promote the other Phantom… as my spear gets passed around by all the neighborhood kids. Everyone will stay home that night to see what they’ve been missing over at Lot 2.

Above: Most kids carry school books home, but I carry spears, weapons, and movie props.

Notice that the call sheet says “Phantom of Lot 2″… CBS TV wanted to use “Hollywood” in the title, instead of “Lot 2,” so, they changed it prior to airing!

Coming soon, Young Frankenstein… Don’t turn this channel!

All stories written and lived by Donnie Norden
Edited by DQ